Little Red Riding Hood - or - The Slut in The Woods

 
Once upon a time things were all so simple
Then as puberty raged and I grew my first pimple
I got hair on my balls
Skid marks on my smalls
I started watching porn
I always had the horn
Masturbated my life away
Was I straight, was I gay
Confusion reigned
Groin was strained
Tales of childhood fantasy changed
Deranged, morals estranged, words rearranged  
 
Let us examine Little Red Riding Hood
Dressed like a slut always up to no good
Let's break down the nickname as well as you might
"Little" was sarcasm all talking shite
Her pussy was juicy it was huge and slack
Her favourite position was a man on his back
"Riding" it "Red" her pussy in shreds
Whilst smelling of bread Chlamydia she spreads
All the boys in the "Hood"
If the hadn't they would
Her reputation was good
She'd polish all wood
So this was the real tale we need to explore
Little Red Riding Hood not innocent; a whore
 
Her mother was oblivious about Little Red
How she charges them ten bucks to ride them in bed
Packed off with a picnic to grandma's house
In a red checked short skirt and low cut silk blouse
She rounded her ensemble off with a red cape and hood
You really think you wouldn't, I really know you would
 
Now off to grandma's house, skipping as she goes
Grandma's house, a bordello, not everyone knows
In the middle of the forest she met "Big Bad Wilff"
Wilfred by name his preferred sex with a MILF
He was "Big" in the cock
"Bad" thoughts ran amok  
She blew him and blew him
But she didn't screw him
And despite lack of fucks
She still charged him ten bucks
Wiped clean, gave a shove
Then told him "Fuck Off!"
He stomped of short changed
No change was arranged job
He expected five bucks
Little Red gave no fucks
 
In a clearing by the lake
She settled down for hungers sake
Her picnic all finished
Her hunger diminished
She laid back on the grass
Finger fucking her ass
Her orgasm disrupted
A girl so corrupted
With "Victor The Vicar" standing there
His cock in his hand and ready to share
She rode him like a stolen bike
Despite the size of his beefy spike
He came like thunder whilst praying
"Oh God" he was repeatedly saying
She should have got paid for riding him first
For being so filthy, the worst of the worst
And after quenching his sexual thirst
For free, Little Red, had just been coerced
He prayed Little Red would avoid hell's damnation
And to consider this; a church roofing donation
 
Again on the road to Grandma's Bordello
She met a handsome lumberjack fellow
She eyed him with lust, he just said hello
A Spaniard by the name of "Punchinello"
No sexual encounter, smoked pot and got mellow
She gave him a card emblazed ink yellow
She worked as a hooker in Grandma's Bordello
He joked he'd cum over and pay for a demo
He'd cum in between her like a playing the cello
And her hear would melt like strawberry jello
He told her his first name Shakespeare's "Othello"
It started to rain, he gave his umbrella
She walked away smitten with this wood chopping fella
 
 
Walking into grandma's brothel
The stench of sex was fuckin awful
Away in the corner Big Bad Wilff
had finally got himself a MILF
Fifty bucks was taken by Grandpa
He let Big Bad Wilff eat out Grandma
Oh what big cross eyes you've got
they're like two assholes tied in a knot
Oh what big, ugly, bulbous nose you've got
You're eating my pussy it looks just like snot
Oh what ugly carbuncled ears you've got
They look like donkey's unwilling to trot
Oh what goofy bucked teeth you've got
They're rotten, crooked and smell such a lot
Eating my pussy. for me, isn't hot
You droopy dicked weirdo is that all you got
The final straw for Wilff, poor grandma got shot
 
After shooting Grandma
He shot dead her Grandpa
And turned to face Little Red
Her face full of fear and of dread
You must refund me sixty bucks
Cause you and your grandma gave no fucks
He pointed it at Red's Little head
He shouted "Better Red than dead."
The door burst open wooden, splinters showered the place
He quickly drew his gun and shot Big Wilff in the face
Red said "Your my hero"
And whispered saccharin zeros
He ate her, she ate him swinging from a rafter
and now they just suck and fuck happy ever after