Buried in BLUE

 
 
A melancholy song played by choice
A kind of sado-masochistic journey
A tight blanket of sadness covers me
My eyes went from misty to fog bound
Like a weeping willow I engage in tears
It becomes a hard cry and pain filled cry
As I cogitate and review my life thus far
 
Nothing ever came to anything really
Repercussions from trying were obscene
A biblical comparison - the life suffering of Job
The visitation of misery and loss results
It has never been any different for me
 
Being loyal has been met with infidelity
Being meek has ensure I have inherited dirt
Being a good friend has been met with treachery
Being kind and generous has led to usury
 
Trying to be a good father led to being ignored
Trying to be a good husband taken as weakness
Trying too hard, I've been taken to the cleaners
Trying so hard to be the good guy, always fucked over
 
I have failed some times but should I have been tortured
I've made mistakes but should internal death be the penalty
I have fallen down, the punishment now: I can't get up
I've always tried to make amends, always greeted with derision
 
I am a passing phase, a rescuer, a springboard used for moving on
I am a good ear for listening, gives good advice, everyone just takes
I'm a burnt out lighthouse used and abused until there is no light
I've been in love twice, met with adulterous acts and utter rejection
 
The mellow jazz piano turns crying into sobbing like a victimised child
I am alone in the dark despite all the lights of the house being on
The track finishes but ironically I have it on a continuous loop
A life of torture results in deliberate self torture
A life of abuse, leads to self harm and self abuse
So much heartbreak leads to a fatal wounding
My capacity for love lies dead and rotting
My self  hatred and a life of regrets entrenched
 
All faith is lost
All hope is lost
Alone
In the dark
Demons
Propose
The solution
I concur
Turning the music off
Buried in blue
 
Inspired by Harry Connick jnr's version of "Buried In Blue" and the saddest song ever written "Drifting" by Harry Connick Jnr
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gIk-84pvGs