Mesmerize

Very nice write about presence.

Thank you SatInUGal!😁

Great read and life like music in which a rest or silence is the loudest note as there is so much that is said : )  

Exactly! See you get it! I'm glad I was able to accurately express exactly that✌️😁

Very true, and this is an excellent poem, el.

Nicely done, and welcome to DUP.

Why thank you LunasChild8!😁 I may sound silly for even asking you this question, but what does the el stand for?

I was feeling too lazy to type out your full username, so I just wrote the first two letters "el", as they show up.

I don't think you need the but in there.

Okay perfect, I have been contemplating that! So thank you I appreciate your advice😁

I deleted both the "and" and "but", what do you think of it now?

Was the 'and' at the beginning of the 4th line?  Yep, reads much better cos each line is more of a statement now instead of a continuation.  :-)

You need the question mark because you are asking a question plus it adds to the dramatic opening that makes us want to read on. You will have no poem left at this rate!  Lol,  I jest. ; -)

Lol! True, true....well hey short and sweet never hurt nobody😜

I am now mesmerised by this sweet poem. 😆

El.. brilliant poem.. welcome to DU.. i shortened your name.. no disrespect..






Dave

Oh! Wow...I can't believe I didn't catch on lol! Thank you for your comment, appreciate it.

Very nice Livi!
Reminds me of that Tom Waits song San Diego Serenade,
"I never saw your tears til they rolled down your face". Got to see what's going on inside.
Look forward to reading more!
Matthew.

Thank you! That's a great suggestion...

excellent, well done.

Thanks!

This is beautiful and says so much I such a small space. Thk u

Why fill the silence with nervous nonsense when one CAN be looking into deep eyes searching ... Got me ... Bless and love ...