The Death of a Thousand Paper Cuts

 
Sharp pages of the holy book, spare the rod
Child abuse and needless violence inspired by God

Etched in blood are teenage journal pages
A too scared rebellion internally rages

A teen pact with the devil stamped in a red wax
On black satin papyrus, it's my faith it lacks

Love notes written on crumpled paper
Love not returned its all been a caper

Love poems written, love poems sent
Received, ignored, rejection and torment

More love notes written in desperation
Blank replies with the feeling of isolation
 
A proposal and gilded wedding certification
In a loveless marriage and soul assassination

My boss suddenly gave me my walking papers
With a crappy excuse, and bullshit vapours

A divorce decree, thirty five years of regret
With lots of baggage and emotional debt

A printed rejection, causes a hearts demise
False flagged in an act of betrayal and lies

Razor carved her name on to my arm
Not understanding the harm of self harm

Moving forward it trite it's uncaring advice
When you're sill in love, second best won't suffice

A dear John letter on the kitchen table
She thought she could love you but never able

cuts like razors, to weeping guitars
Like a human Spirograph covered with scars

The paper cuts deepest carves into your heart
It sucks all the love out then tears it apart

I've burnt the love notes praying pain will decrease
There is no salvation, respite or peace

It's not that I'm bitter, my feelings won't change
In this horrid life suffering's not strange

And so as I write this very last note
I am feeling so lonely, lost and remote

I cant fight the fever, I can't fight the fight
The paper has cut me out off without a light

My pencil is sharpened my paper still blank
I scroll through my memoirs for people to thank

Fifty eight years of life the list comes up short
There are many more people I would rather report

The guilty feel no guilt their conscience is clear
For public consumption a plastic veneer

The in need outed, spat on and routed
This note being read and publicly shouted

The takers, the fakers and all the heartbreakers
The hot coal rakers and the trouble makers

Need named and shamed, their fifteen minutes of fame
As this heartfelt note endeth the game