Pig in a Web, scene 20

Scene 20:

Chaz, mommy and daddy, and Mel are all sitting at daddy farmer’s kitchen table again.

Chaz: I'm really sorry about all this. I know what good family you are. You are my family, and I'll always have your backs. Just sign here and here and we can be wrapped up.
Daddy farmer: You want to know why Mel is here? Because we don't need your pity. We have our own way of dealing with things. We aren't going to lose anything today. If i had to, I could write you a big fat cheque. Life is going well these days, with over 100,000 subscribers following us on YouTube alone. So you won't take anything. Not gonna happen. Not today.
Chaz: Subscribers can't stop you from paying or losing your ugly, smelly pig farm.
Mommy farmer: Watch your mouth. This is my kitchen and beloved pig farm, you know, Knobby.
Chaz: I never thought you would call me that again. I'm touched!
Mommy farmer: You were being sophomoric enough, so it fit. Don't get carried away with yourself!
Daddy farmer: Instead of paying you off, I decided to invest in a lawyer, PI, and a bank auditor. You are running a scandal out of your little bank. I don't owe you a dime. And if your boss found out…
Chaz stares at the papers daddy tosses in front of him.
Chaz: You need say no more. I deny any wrongdoing, but considering the interesting facts brought to light, you are heroes to my bank. Consider your debts cleared. Leave me alone to figure things out and I'll do the necessary paperwork to ensure that your account reflects this at the bank. Please supply me with all your information as well. I will probably also need you to sign a non-disclosure agreement. So expect to hear from me again soon. Good day to you all.
Chaz leaves hastily before he can be questioned further.
Mommy turns to Daddy and hugs him. Aunt Mel joins.
Mommy: Honestly, I love pigs. I'm so proud of you! And you, Mel!
Suddenly a loud pig squeal, honk, and shouting can be heard, offstage in the direction of the driveway.
Chaz: Hey, kids! Your pig is running loose with that dog! Get these animals out of the way!
Ben: Scooter, boy! You okay? Scooter saved the runt! Pushed him away, and you HIT him!
Heather: I'm telling on you, cousin! You are in so much trouble!
Heather busts into the kitchen, breathless with excitement.
Heather: Cousin Chaz hit Scooter in the driveway! Right in front of the kitchen porch!
Chaz enters soon after, hat in hand, to explain himself.
Chaz: your kids were running around the farm, playing with your dog and a piglet. I nearly hit them both.
Heather: You hit Scooter, you big liar!
Scooter comes into the kitchen.
Chaz: Speak of the doggie… he obviously is fine. Only limping as much as any old dog might.
Mommy: Scooter is only 3 years old.
Daddy: We have footage of the front porch, want to settle this now?
Chaz: I've got a dental appointment to make. Take my mountain bike. It has full suspension.
Daddy: Sounds like a deal. Give it straight to Ben, since he won't be taking Scooter hunting for a while.
Chaz and Ben exit.
Heather: Scooter, you could have let Chaz hit my pig, so id have a bike, but no. Had to be a hero again. Damn dog!