deepundergroundpoetry.com
Shooting Star
Words like starlit diamonds
sparkle into view
then flash across the sky.
Crash down upon the Earth
upon my hands and knees
I search for these concealed gems in the dirt.
Finding only burned out rocks
I dash them against the walls of my mind
hoping to find a hidden diamond inside.
Some beautiful prose or dazzling methaphor
I long to meet my muse
upon some golden shore.
I'm left sifting through the sand
finding only fool's gold
my dreams bound and locked never to be told.
The words to free me
flash across my mind
then fizzle out, dying a lonely death inside.
sparkle into view
then flash across the sky.
Crash down upon the Earth
upon my hands and knees
I search for these concealed gems in the dirt.
Finding only burned out rocks
I dash them against the walls of my mind
hoping to find a hidden diamond inside.
Some beautiful prose or dazzling methaphor
I long to meet my muse
upon some golden shore.
I'm left sifting through the sand
finding only fool's gold
my dreams bound and locked never to be told.
The words to free me
flash across my mind
then fizzle out, dying a lonely death inside.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 10
reading list entries 0
comments 24
reads 952
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Very nice
6th Nov 2011 7:57pm
Crim you know I have to check you out.
The words to free me. Insightful
Hugs
The words to free me. Insightful
Hugs
1
re: Very nice
6th Nov 2011 9:00pm
re: enjoyed
6th Nov 2011 9:19pm
Anonymous
- Edited 13th Sep 2018 6:45am
7th Nov 2011 00:05am
<< post removed >>
re: concealed gems
7th Nov 2011 4:00am
ty Veliqua..I wish to capture some of those diamonds :) and write them down..ty again you put a smile on my face peace Crim :)
re: Shooting Star
Anonymous
7th Nov 2011 5:40pm
I like this one, Crim. The comparison is great! I think we've all tried capturing those flashes and been..."left sifting through the sand
finding only fool's gold". Enjoyed!
tornado
finding only fool's gold". Enjoyed!
tornado
1
re: re: Shooting Star
7th Nov 2011 6:47pm
Grains of sand
A beautiful picture is painted which defies the story that it tells. Your muse has inspired you in this poem while you yearn for the true gold in words that make a poem sparkle like a diamond in the rough. I love the imagery, and yearning for my muse is a feeling I am well aquainted with. However, there is one glairing error on this page, not in the poem, but that picture is of a comet, not a shooting start. HA! jj
1
re: Grains of sand
JJ ty for the beautiful comment and pointing out my error on the pic but I can't seem to replace it with a pic of a real shooting star I edit and it doesn't work..ty for making me smile..peace to you Crim :)
re: re: Grains of sand
HAHA! I complained about a comet and got a thousand shooting stars. That's perfect!
1
re: re: re: Grains of sand
8th Nov 2011 5:57am
Glad you liked the new pic. it matched more with my vision..you always make me smile JJ ty..peace Crim :)
"Words like starlit diamonds "
Anonymous
7th Nov 2011 8:46pm
wow Crim beautiful poem!
1
re: "Words like starlit diamonds "
8th Nov 2011 5:58am
ty Mememe for such a lovely comment..wishing you peace beautiful lady..Crim :)
your my shooting star...
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Nov 2011 3:47am
8th Nov 2011 3:46am
Really you're crim! Without your support I'd be nothing. It's those who back up my writing and keep me at it that I thank the most. I found a gem in you! :) Your work is so beautiful these days. Where does it come from? You use your words masterfully, and they seem effortless and just downright penetrating. Indeed, you make the top of my list of favorite writers! :) I really do wish there was room on my reading list for all of your work!
1
re: your my shooting star...
8th Nov 2011 6:00am
Ty Maikeru for such a soul and heart touching comment..you are a class all your own your writting is so unique and interesting i'll try to be there for you more because I really love your writing..peace to you beautiful soul..Crim :)
Hey Crim
Anonymous
11th Nov 2011 8:21pm
This is just
beautiful
.
beautiful
.
1
re: Hey Crim
11th Nov 2011 8:26pm
re: Re: Shooting Star
3rd Nov 2014 4:11pm
Re: Shooting Star
Anonymous
3rd Nov 2014 3:07pm
╰☆╮Wow! I love every bit of this. I especially love your word choices. They just..fit perfectly. Great work, I'm glad I found this gem.╰☆╮
1
re: Re: Shooting Star
3rd Nov 2014 4:11pm