You're  Gonna Need a Bigger Cock

 
Carrying her over the hotel threshold
She's all dressed in bridal white
She is beautiful and so very sex
A prize catch, a Goddess a Ten
I wonder what she sees in me
Beauty and the beast for sure
How was I to know I'd got that wrong

Sometimes the beauty is a deception
Looks can be just used as bait
Gold digging could be the truth
But my dick made me ignore those thoughts
Remembering her lingerie and garter
I remember the Basque; oh boy!
She looks at me, smiles and winks
I take that as a signal

She stands up and slowly undresses
Seductively of course almost slutty
She dances the pole of the four poster bed
She lays on the bed spread eagled
She rubs her parts then beckons me hither
My dick is rock hard already
No fuckin wonder she's my trophy

I try to undress slowly
Without falling over
I try to be seductive failing
Finally standing naked in her face
Holding my erection
I wait for her excited reaction
Unexpected all she does is laugh
A cruel nasty laugh
She spreads he legs apart
Showing her coochie, it is big

With her fingers she stretched her hole open
"Do you see this?: Well do you?"
Does look like a badly packed taco
With a huge hole in the middle
She laughs again and points to my junk
"You're gonna need a bigger cock!"
I shrank down and became invisible
As she phoned a friend
"Can you help Jack he's got a baby cock!"

Jake arrives like a walking hardon
Shark finned jelled hair
All cock and no brains
I watch the price is right
And think 'David the price is not right'
This is way too much
As they fucked around like rabbits
Then the French maid comes in
And instead of being shocked she joins in

WTF! Is this my future to be
I consider masturbating but nothing is happening
They laugh thinking they've made me impotent
If I am gonna join in I need my penis extension
I unzip my walk on luggage bag
And I pull it out my friend 'Glock'
I point the gun and shout stop!
They laugh and just carry on
I fire a warning shot through the maid's head

That gets their attention immediately
I offer, him or you, him or you
Surprise she screams him
I oblige, bullet through the eye socket
She pleads for her life
She says she loves me, I almost melt
Then she utter these immortal words
"Not my fault I need a bigger cock!"
No" I just need a smaller hole"
As I shot her in the middle of her forehead
Then fucked the hole

I ate out the maid well she was still warm
Was gonna fuck jacks brains out
But the little he had was splattered on the wall
Lesson learned If people try to fuck you up
Fuck em right back

Inspired by my wedding night, it was a blast