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Life......Wanting To Die

 
living life......
 
….......wanting to die.

experiencing the sadness
my eyes refusing to cry
 
tears
that have evaporated
into the sorrows
the perception of failing,
having overshadowed
all the joys of life
 
trying
to plant seeds of hope
and good and earnest
into the lives of
those you love,
those you cherish,
those you'd give your
very life for......
 
…...only to find  
that in all you've done,
no one
seems
to want or
care.  
 
that which
you hold dear,
gives you hope,
holds you here...
 
when there is nothing left to give, no one wants you anymore
 
just a traveler
discovering  
the cruel revelation
that the “whom”
that you are
is so far away from home
 
…..yes, truly all alone
 
with sensitivities  
raised
swirling aimlessly
into the haze
of a ghastly malaise
 
trying hard  
to hide  
behind a smile,
trying to stifle
the screams  
of your soul's greatest fears
loosing,
yielding all control
a resolve
to simply die
 
reaching out  
for someone,
anyone  
to grasp hold of your hand
 
an epiphany-”no one here wants to help you, man”
 
mortality, failing
just a little more
each day
 
every song you hear  
making you long
for better days
that seem so far away
 
lifting prayers towards heaven
hoping that  
“this too shall pass”
today
 
removing the mask,
unfeeling the shame
begging for mercy
simply wanting relief
from the pain
 
of life?
 
Into death….simply  
           waiting, wanting to die

 
Written by MusicallyMrM (Mr_Mahogany_Wood)
Published
Author's Note
.....a moment spent with the darkness of life, another side of me.

#funeralmarchofamarionette #myownbipolarmadness
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