the meth diaries~the day to day

 
come smoke with me
I heard in my dreams
I saw my friends
I laughed and for a moment felt good
then I awoke suddenly
the cravings were there full force
I wanted some meth

I have no one to talk to
my husband wants it to just go away
the addiction issues I have
and I plotted in my mind
just go outside and smoke a little
he won't know
just a little meth
then echoed in my mind
just a little death
little deaths of me

still, I'm stuck in the day to day of things
as you know I used to write when I was high
I don't feel I'm writing as good
and it bothers me
I can't lie about that

I feel mundane now
where I used to feel superhuman
able to touch the gods
it could be my delusions
I don't know
I just want to cry