deepundergroundpoetry.com
on the west coast, fog
on the west coast, fog
tucks in streets to rest,
with unsettling whirr
glowing eyes of metal
animals pedal past
in congested lanes
half-asleep
finally i breathe
easy among un-
seeing company,
am liminal between
where and was, as the sun
draws indigo blinds
in its wake
tucks in streets to rest,
with unsettling whirr
glowing eyes of metal
animals pedal past
in congested lanes
half-asleep
finally i breathe
easy among un-
seeing company,
am liminal between
where and was, as the sun
draws indigo blinds
in its wake
Published 11th Oct 2018
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likes 5
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comments 5
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The author encourages honest critique.
12th Oct 2018 1:22am
That second stanza is ripe with imagery, gonezalo. Liminal is one of my favorite words.
Well done. 📝
Well done. 📝
12th Oct 2018 1:27pm
thank you very much, ahavati. when i wrote it, i thought it felt a little incomplete, but in retrospect i don't know what i'd have added to it that it needed.
and same here, liminal/liminality are two of my favorites. they're such fun words.
and same here, liminal/liminality are two of my favorites. they're such fun words.
13th Oct 2018 3:29pm
Great short lines and line breaks ... especially "easy among un/seeing company" ... bravo my poet ... excellent write ... echo above about imagery ... and "liminal" is a delicious plump word ...
13th Oct 2018 4:40pm
14th Oct 2018 3:58am
This poem has a very surreal feeling for a topic that is so elementary, nice touch.
