sparkle

 
in the twilight where everything sparkles
my ego was fed
while my soul lay dying  
 
I didn't give a damn
about the price I paid
carved from my flesh
were the words I wrote
 
my demons sang their victory song
and I just hum along
with thoughts I would never have control
my body and its wants would rule forever
 
give me now
instant gratification
no work, that wasn't part of the equation
 
fuck, who the hell am I?
I'm really unsure if I'm even human
that may make some laugh
but my delusions led me to the question
 
thirty years of my life lost to a substance
how do I be me?
when last I checked in with my girl
I was seventeen
in a deep depression
heroin took that away  

well, guess what?  
ten something drugs later
the pain is back
it seems it never left
like a bill, it just waited for me to check in
 
the collector is here
he wants his money
but my spirit is bankrupt
 
I can't even produce a tear
in the way of offering