deepundergroundpoetry.com
Neon fish, neon flash; dropping shoulders as wilting yellow dandelions
Bluebird strobe light flashing in the night's sand,
draw me in your bug zapper's neon death camp;
draw me in your sketch book dying.
I lived,
a shadow,
in a world of your ocean hued eyes.
draw me in your bug zapper's neon death camp;
draw me in your sketch book dying.
I lived,
a shadow,
in a world of your ocean hued eyes.
Published 2nd Oct 2018
| Edited 3rd Oct 2018
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likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 5
reads 431
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
2nd Oct 2018 10:50pm
Really enjoyed this snapshot, Samael. It was enough to fill an entire album.
Honest critique stuff as requested:
night(')s
zapper(')s
in you(r) sketch
hue(d) [ would play wonderfully off the consonance of d in shadow and world ( not to mentiond dying, draw, and so on . . .) ]
Honest critique stuff as requested:
night(')s
zapper(')s
in you(r) sketch
hue(d) [ would play wonderfully off the consonance of d in shadow and world ( not to mentiond dying, draw, and so on . . .) ]
3rd Oct 2018 4:04pm
Anonymous
3rd Oct 2018 8:15pm
I don’t know why but this reminded me of A Clockwork Orange. I think it was the surreal nature of the imagery. For that reason alone, I loved the poignancy of it.
Thank you for sharing.
-M
Thank you for sharing.
-M
3rd Oct 2018 8:58pm
3rd Oct 2018 10:43pm
Wonderful imagery..
simple moment.. simple write
yet full of story
goodness, how do you do it??
Inspired
H
simple moment.. simple write
yet full of story
goodness, how do you do it??
Inspired
H
