Vent Into Life
She was meant for greatness. Everything in her blood stricken veins told her so, but why does it seem like her road ends here. She's crossing streets that are unfamiliar and speaking tongues no man should ever allow her to trigger, and comparing her life to people with no ambition. She brings shade and destruction into her life because she allows small things to effect her vision. She points fingers at everyone but herself because it's not so easy to stare at one self wrongs/flaws.
To everyone else she is perfect and incapable of mistakes. That's her problem she's been put on a pedestal for so long, she didn't realize when you're up the only place to go is down. That saying "when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade" never soundt so simple. When in reality squeezing a lemon takes blood, sweat, and literal tears to make just one oz of lemon juice. Hard work does pay off even if it takes more than 3 attempts. This, she did not understand because after every fail she'd give up and never look back. She's already told herself she's a loser, failure, a waste of space. She thinks she can't do anything right. She didn't know she had mind control over her own thoughts and off spring of everything she touches. Only good comes to those that produce good virtue. mentally harming herself causes more damage than physical. Because physical scars heel mental scars will always be memories that she will have to decipher through.
She battles with her personal demons on the inside and battles with her appearance on outside. She has the looks no man can ignore and the knowledge to out way any bordem. Still, she struggles with simple things like getting out of bed and combing her hair. She looks her self in the mirror with wonders of how to live with her self. She's tried many options: medication, meditation, binge-drinking/eating, nothing worked. Sex doesn't do the trick anymore. It filled a void temporary, until she realized their demons become apart of her. She feels her pain a long with theirs. Now she carries his burdens too! Because his momma didn't love him like she do, and her fathers love couldn't be considered because he never knew.
She's always confused and more than often never know what to do. Her thoughts are always over the place. I'm sure you can tell, when she writes. She is damaged goods but her heart is pure. She knows good and evil in this world all too well. A pretty face and a mind all over the place. This is the day I write to my self hate because you are the reason and cause of my fate.