deepundergroundpoetry.com
dark tipped flower
As her gentle eyes cut a slow stare across the room
To see her original thought forming as she looks...
-
Oh, what the delightful wonder does she imagine?
My crazy thought running with her mind curve...
-
A glassy soul looking within an unassuming stance
This sweet laugh is the first sound she makes...
-
Perhaps thru the choosing to be joyous of heart
So becoming wise of the way to live her own life...
-
A conversation to the soul river our minds can see
As these visions, flow down now into a newly made sea...
Published 26th Sep 2018
| Edited 2nd Oct 2018
Author's Note
such a lovely distraction
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 4
comments 14
reads 888
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
26th Sep 2018 3:11am
Excellent and gentle poem you have here Jeff.
I felt your passion in this ..
Much enjoyed
Love
Jackie
I felt your passion in this ..
Much enjoyed
Love
Jackie
26th Sep 2018 3:26am
26th Sep 2018 10:33am
Oh Jeff ... love the couplets ... "gentle eyes cut a slow stare" ... "running with her mind curve" ... "soul river of our minds" ... cadence and flow of this are splendid ... *sigh* *sigh* *sigh*
26th Sep 2018 9:53pm
26th Sep 2018 12:45pm
A lovely distraction indeed!
Love the phrasing... this one just rolls of the tongue...
"running with her mind curve" > now that's something beautiful.
Love the phrasing... this one just rolls of the tongue...
"running with her mind curve" > now that's something beautiful.
26th Sep 2018 9:54pm
So I read this about I don’t know 5, maybe 6 times and I do believe I get where you’re coming from and what you’re saying and I think it’s beautiful particularly in these two or four lines
//
As her gentle eyes cut a slow stare across the room
To see her original thought forming as she looks...
-
Oh, what the delightful wonder does she imagine?
My crazy thought running with her mind curve...
Definitely worth a second read or two. I think I got it the first time but I don’t know what it is that you changed to be honest, I have a lot going on in my head right now. Jeff, from where I’m sitting this is magical...
Xx Jackie
-
//
As her gentle eyes cut a slow stare across the room
To see her original thought forming as she looks...
-
Oh, what the delightful wonder does she imagine?
My crazy thought running with her mind curve...
Definitely worth a second read or two. I think I got it the first time but I don’t know what it is that you changed to be honest, I have a lot going on in my head right now. Jeff, from where I’m sitting this is magical...
Xx Jackie
-
26th Sep 2018 9:44pm
I just walked over and gave you a big bear hug in the air and set you back down on the couch next to the bowl....such kind words
love
Jeff
love
Jeff
26th Sep 2018 9:49pm
Anonymous
- Edited 14th Feb 2020 3:27am
27th Sep 2018 00:55am
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27th Sep 2018 3:27am
29th Sep 2018 6:08am
The King of darkness and as they say, "mystic"
here and now strikes again yet with another hole of black..
a lovely read, crafted with delightful tongue...
truly admire your spirit and soul that pens this...
Always admired and love,
H
here and now strikes again yet with another hole of black..
a lovely read, crafted with delightful tongue...
truly admire your spirit and soul that pens this...
Always admired and love,
H
29th Sep 2018 7:00am
