deepundergroundpoetry.com
Someone Wicked
Living with sharpest fragments
Edged objects hitting walls
The grenade he somehow calls a head
The pin pulled from livid scars
The particles hit wide and far
Collateral damage in the mix
Blood flowing down the dead end streets
Walked by whores and charlatans
One clown has his share of qualms
Dreading a figure in the mist
A silhouette with electric smoke
The curl of it now burning bright
The whores head for the dockside bar
But can barely stand the drums
A rhythm born of treachery
Until someone wicked this way comes.
Edged objects hitting walls
The grenade he somehow calls a head
The pin pulled from livid scars
The particles hit wide and far
Collateral damage in the mix
Blood flowing down the dead end streets
Walked by whores and charlatans
One clown has his share of qualms
Dreading a figure in the mist
A silhouette with electric smoke
The curl of it now burning bright
The whores head for the dockside bar
But can barely stand the drums
A rhythm born of treachery
Until someone wicked this way comes.
Published 25th Sep 2018
Author's Note
Another attempt at surrealism.
The last line is a paraphrase from a witch's incantation in "Macbeth."
The last line is a paraphrase from a witch's incantation in "Macbeth."
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 0
comments 14
reads 491
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
25th Sep 2018 6:17pm
BAM💥 very nicely done!!!
Men are whores too! In fact without em woman could never be whores lol
Fine write u have here :)
Love
Jackie xo
Men are whores too! In fact without em woman could never be whores lol
Fine write u have here :)
Love
Jackie xo
25th Sep 2018 9:04pm
Good point, Jackie. I'm guilty as charged. I thought of becoming a male hooker but I'm WAY to old. Thank you!
26th Sep 2018 3:12am
25th Sep 2018 7:57pm
"A silhouette with electric smoke" ... love this ... also the closing line ... nod to Macbeth ... my favorite Shakespeare play ... surreal ... achieved ... nicely done my poet ...
25th Sep 2018 9:05pm
Anonymous
25th Sep 2018 8:23pm
You are always a master of words, my friend. You can write anything and hit the spot. What is surrealism if not a twist (extreme) of reality? Very good indeed. J.
25th Sep 2018 9:10pm
Thank you J. I kind of wish Salvador Dali had moonlighted as a poet. At least he dabbled in film production. This is evident in "An Andalusian Dog." If you haven't seen this it's worth seeking out.
25th Sep 2018 9:26pm
The first stanza along with the graphic had us thinking of child abuse. It also carries like a ripple out of the home into society and time. But all of that to say nice piece.
27th Sep 2018 00:09am
25th Sep 2018 9:59pm
Dark write and the last line - it may have been borrowed from The Bard but it's a line that never gets old.
27th Sep 2018 00:12am
I love that line too. The bard said it best: "By the pricking of my thumbs / Something wicked this way comes..." Thank you!
25th Sep 2018 10:54pm
I like your idea of slipping in a well-known line - in fact maybe a whole poem could be composed of them, each line from a different poet. An old idea I know but one I've not yet tried my hand at.
27th Sep 2018 00:14am
That's an idea I've never heard of, but I typically have my head in the sand. I would love it if you tried, and I'm sure succeeded. You're one of my favorites here.
27th Sep 2018 1:55pm
Hi Crowfly, thank you for your kind words. I'll have to do some homework now and start collecting lines form other poets.
I once heard a stand-up 11-minute poetic story made up entirely of song-titles and well-known lines from Beatles songs - it was amazing and would love to do something similar. Maybe lines from the Rolling Stones which should give me plenty to choose from. Thanks again for your supportive feed-back.
I once heard a stand-up 11-minute poetic story made up entirely of song-titles and well-known lines from Beatles songs - it was amazing and would love to do something similar. Maybe lines from the Rolling Stones which should give me plenty to choose from. Thanks again for your supportive feed-back.
