Anxiety (mental games)

Nearly 48 hours now and still wide awake
Exhausted, depressed, the anxiety over takes
Thoughts racing, blurring, spiraling out of control
Wishing for some weed, I'm at ease when I'm stoned
Music fills my ears but its not what's playing on the radio
Am I lost? Here, over there, what is this show
Sleep deprived, shaky, in a dream like state
Nervous, manic looking for someone to relate
Should I call in to life and take this crazy day off
Blurry eyes, hair stands on end I'm here but lost
Almost tripping, yet I have had no drugs to try
So amazing how this anxiety takes hold and makes time fly
Should I just press forward and continue to stay awake
Regretting something but what was this mistake
Clearly distraught the madness will not loosen its grip
Outside semi calm, inside a nervous raging fit
I'm ok right? The mirror is refusing to answer
Inside something testers and grows like a hidden cancer
I should have taken the offering of pills from the doc
Two seconds with every click why this clock
Sick, queasy, I have to regain control not for me but my kids
The hallway seems longer, is it blood? What the fuck is this
Only halloween props thank God everyone is ok
Backwards going in reverse yet birds and sun start the day
Run, I want to run. I need to run but nowhere to run to
I'm now realizing I'm online live and writing poetry
This, this.. It hurts... Very bad. This anxiety is taking over me
Breath deep in and out relax your mind find a happy place
Back to my feet, can't relax I have dreams to chase
How can I possibly catch my dreams without any sleep
Darker unwanted thoughts begin to stir and creep
Writing this now almost a hour in but it feels like mere fraction
Stress to my already broken heart what is going to happen
Its gone now, it just up and left as quick as it came
Mental troubles, depression, anxiety loving to play these games
I can't possibly prepare for another surprise round
Laying my head now, relaxed, at ease than the alarm sounds