deepundergroundpoetry.com
Sorry h
I have survived with ur dejection that keeps starving me , is by feeding on the each words of my apology into me, with a glinting hopes of a final answer, All that remains are the empty sorry in my words, unworthy to be heeded by ur precious heart
Published 21st Sep 2018
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The author encourages honest critique.
I like this poem Augie... You got your message across well... good job on that...
However, I think you need to go back and read your piece over carefully, as the way you have written it makes no sense linguistically.
I see by your flag, you come from Iran... so English is not so familiar...
English doesn't work that way and your readers deserve the best, from you, and from your poem... and your piece is well worth rescuing.
August... start with the place that says...''starving me, is by feeding on each words of my apology''... read it out loud so you can hear what you are saying... you have a series of phrases that are not properly joined together so they make sense... you are also having some problems with how singular and plural are expressed. We can fix that too.
Currently we have a new group forming for the purpose of helping folks with poetry that needs anything from a band aid to major surgery. We will also help you learn how to critique your own work. write on, Poet... and come see us soon... Ely
When we get going, please come visit us and together we will work this out.
Seriously, I want you to come see us poet...Ely
However, I think you need to go back and read your piece over carefully, as the way you have written it makes no sense linguistically.
I see by your flag, you come from Iran... so English is not so familiar...
English doesn't work that way and your readers deserve the best, from you, and from your poem... and your piece is well worth rescuing.
August... start with the place that says...''starving me, is by feeding on each words of my apology''... read it out loud so you can hear what you are saying... you have a series of phrases that are not properly joined together so they make sense... you are also having some problems with how singular and plural are expressed. We can fix that too.
Currently we have a new group forming for the purpose of helping folks with poetry that needs anything from a band aid to major surgery. We will also help you learn how to critique your own work. write on, Poet... and come see us soon... Ely
When we get going, please come visit us and together we will work this out.
Seriously, I want you to come see us poet...Ely
