Morendo

You have cancer.      
Repeat :||      
     
After Mass      
your mother      
whispered      
pianissimo:      
     
You have cancer.      
Repeat :||      
     
My heart leapt      
in brief staccato      
     
You have cancer.      
Repeat :||      
     
Mama excused      
herself to the bathroom      
Sobs in and out of deep crescendo      
     
Saying the right thing was never my forte    
They told you three days      
after your twenty-eighth birthday    
     
The tumor is around your heart    
     
Rest      
Rest      
Rest      
     
I haven’t seen you at Church      
since we were eighteen      
back when we were a duet      
in Catholic school      
     
singing ave Maria      
panis angelicus      
pieu Jesu      
     
We were whole      
     
our voices known around the parish      
cantoring Mass      
talent shows      
musicals at the boys school      
in the city     
     
You have cancer.      
Repeat :||      
     
Desperate to find the Coda Sign      
I don’t know how to return      
     
you left the church      
and all that behind      
your parents holding      
to faith you’ve forgotten      
     
You have cancer.      
Repeat :||      
     
Last week I heard      
through the girly game      
of telephone      
this girl we went to school with      
died back in July      
married with two kids    
     
Cancer.      
     
Fermata      
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
I still sing in the Church choir    
every week I light a candle      
secretly      
and sing in the same loft      
we sang in since we were seven      
     
I light it for the girl who died      
for you fighting your battle      
for me for being spared      
but mostly      
     
For the last song we never      
had the chance to sing