phantom brickwork

i.
 
fuck...
 
there's just not enough paper, love -
not enough memes, ink,
or nicotine
to stall the thrum
lodged behind my ribs...
 
 
fuck!
 
there's just not enough time,
not enough coins
and dreams
to steal away the night -
 
not enough alcohol or rain
to flood the sanctum
wherein lies
my memory of you.
 
 
i must have meant it when i said
 
"forever"
 
 
 
ii.
 
i lay these bricks
in perfect lines
around an epicenter -
 
where it all collapsed,
 
i build a castle from scratch
for the ghost of you -
 
a toast for you.
 
 
this is second life
and guts in the mud,
shouting at the sky.
 
this is angels castrating
demons, downpours
extinguishing fires,
all my light crossing
cold, cruel cosmos for you.
 
 
this is all of me always loving all of you