deepundergroundpoetry.com
Dante's infernal heart.
Broken hearted angel on Hallowe'en
now that's a new one. As a nineteen year old I thought, you know,
I knew better. It takes the biscuit, it takes it home and rapes it
in the empty cold of your eyes.
Leave me to phone the caretakers,
I'll clean up this mess
and undress the message and massage of joy that lived upon your shoulders
keeping you warm on the divine nights.
You are the lie living in my heart,
the broken knocking of a clock left in the prior days of left-wing romance.
The halo, the wings are ironic to me now. You'll find me leaving with white stockings and a rock as replacement as you drain it all away,
down the drainpipe of my urinal mouth.
now that's a new one. As a nineteen year old I thought, you know,
I knew better. It takes the biscuit, it takes it home and rapes it
in the empty cold of your eyes.
Leave me to phone the caretakers,
I'll clean up this mess
and undress the message and massage of joy that lived upon your shoulders
keeping you warm on the divine nights.
You are the lie living in my heart,
the broken knocking of a clock left in the prior days of left-wing romance.
The halo, the wings are ironic to me now. You'll find me leaving with white stockings and a rock as replacement as you drain it all away,
down the drainpipe of my urinal mouth.
Published 30th Oct 2011
| Edited 31st Oct 2011
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Anonymous
31st Oct 2011 1:20pm
Too many great lines here for me to name favourites without copying and pasting much of the poem. Part of the reason I enjoy reading your work is your obvious love for lyricism, great sprawling lines which sometimes make no literal sense but sound beautiful. Even when a poem doesn't work the reader's still left with a fascinating stylistic experiment.
My one suggestion is that you remove the closing line of dialogue, which is somewhat cliche and stands out against the strong expressive voice we've heard thus far. JMHO of course. Thanks for the read, LA.
My one suggestion is that you remove the closing line of dialogue, which is somewhat cliche and stands out against the strong expressive voice we've heard thus far. JMHO of course. Thanks for the read, LA.
31st Oct 2011 2:04pm
