jealousy in the emotional masochist

hark!
what soul has captured the love of my muse?
am i destined to be the omega
or cast aside
 
how i already dwell in blind spots
and moan in silent forests of chance encounters...
...with her precious attention
what might become of my lust if it were to be naked to endless time
 
if i only knew that she wished me to feel this way
that my emotions are on purpose tenderized
by the aloof hammer of her affairs
that her heels dig into my freudian noodles
and my feelings are wrangled in ways that give her pleasure
i would gladly sit idoly  
and live with long delays
knowing that whatever else has captured her desires
is an expense i must endure
 
like a whip
the crumbs of knowledge thrash upon me
and shred me into sadness
in ways that have my trembling lips
quiver and kiss her lovely emotional whip
oh the joy of sadness!