With in me

If I ran away
So far from this day
Would it do me any good?
Sometimes I think I should

To start a new
For something different to do
Why is it a bad thing?
Simply give on everything

I am tired of this life
Here I doubt I will ever find a wife
I want to excel and I have goals
But my soul is full of bullet holes

How do I go on to see another day
Yet it feels the same as yesterday
I just sedate everything away
Mentally I wish for it not to stay

Gazing into to the skies
With my two brown eyes
I realize
My true demise

To give everything you got and only be almost there
Or off by a hair
I am not good enough for anyone
Because this world chases the land of perfection

Not many understand me
They do not see what I see
Or feel what I feel
I simply do my best to conceal

Is it just the rain?
The answer is no for I am insane
I know it is not my fault for I didn't chose this
All I ever wanted was happiness and bliss

One day I wish it could be here
Maybe the person for me could be near
Time slips away
Every second and every minute here today

Acceptance is tough to come by
Sad but so true but why?
As so many judge and write people off too much
I may have lost reality but I refuse to lose my emotional touch