deepundergroundpoetry.com
Oh sod.
i dont want to do this anymore
my spelling isnt right and my neck aches
its like revenge for the hamster that bites
the unkind thumb
yes i know i used that reference on facebook
but fuck a duck Siegfried what made you the master of the universe
im drunk and that usually develops into premenstrual stress or a white hotness in my loins
not tonight tonight i want to get lost and drunk and high and cry and beg and plea and bleed and drink more
just for one night
let me be
youre sucking the life from me
my eyes are frozen and breath so still
like creeping on creaking floorboard
past mums room
i dont care
im drunk tonight
and all i see are neon lights
my spelling isnt right and my neck aches
its like revenge for the hamster that bites
the unkind thumb
yes i know i used that reference on facebook
but fuck a duck Siegfried what made you the master of the universe
im drunk and that usually develops into premenstrual stress or a white hotness in my loins
not tonight tonight i want to get lost and drunk and high and cry and beg and plea and bleed and drink more
just for one night
let me be
youre sucking the life from me
my eyes are frozen and breath so still
like creeping on creaking floorboard
past mums room
i dont care
im drunk tonight
and all i see are neon lights
Published 30th Oct 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 1
comments 13
reads 936
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 30th Oct 2011 1:25am
30th Oct 2011 00:29am
I'm guessing the lack of apostrophes is intentional. An interesting style. I liked the very long line which became a succession of verbs, as though the narrator's speech was growing wild.
Just one nit: "premenstrual" is spelt thusly.
Thanks for the read, LA.
Just one nit: "premenstrual" is spelt thusly.
Thanks for the read, LA.
30th Oct 2011 1:32pm
I was too drunk to know what was intentional, Jack, if I'm honest. :) Thank you, I've changed it accordingly.
30th Oct 2011 11:35am
Amazing, beautiful, and Facebook is evil. I don't respect it and I've gotten in a lot of trouble there because I don't get along with people and I don't know how to keep my big mouth shut. I am too honest, and I say whatever comes into my brain, no matter if it offends people or not.
That's why poetry is a good outlet, because I can write whatever the hell I want to without fear of people judging me. That's why I mostly write for myself, but encouragement from others is amazing too, right?
That's why poetry is a good outlet, because I can write whatever the hell I want to without fear of people judging me. That's why I mostly write for myself, but encouragement from others is amazing too, right?
30th Oct 2011 1:33pm
31st Oct 2011 9:42pm
4th Nov 2011 5:52pm
1st Nov 2011 11:33pm
Brutal.
A whirlwind. A maelstorm.
Agonizing. Crude. Poignant.
Unabashed.
p.s- Love the style. Will look forward for more.
Power!
A whirlwind. A maelstorm.
Agonizing. Crude. Poignant.
Unabashed.
p.s- Love the style. Will look forward for more.
Power!
4th Nov 2011 5:53pm
Anonymous
4th Nov 2011 11:56am
By the time I got to the end of the long line, i even felt drunk.
side joke I have a fiend who often says "It must be true, I saw it on Facebook." seems to apply here a little.
Nice write... fun to read.
side joke I have a fiend who often says "It must be true, I saw it on Facebook." seems to apply here a little.
Nice write... fun to read.
4th Nov 2011 5:53pm
15th Nov 2011 10:03am
15th Nov 2011 8:15pm
That was a spectacular read. I hope to see more of it's ilk. Keep it up.
Oh and I especially enjoyed Siegfried being told to "Fuck a Duck" ;)
Oh and I especially enjoyed Siegfried being told to "Fuck a Duck" ;)
16th Nov 2011 12:14pm
