Content Warning : Do you want to continue?
This poem contains content which some readers may find disturbing.
It is unsuitable for children or anyone who is easily offended.

YES
I am over 18 years old, I have been warned and I still want to read this poem.
NO
I don't want to read this type of content, take me back to the previous page.


deepundergroundpoetry.com

Image for the poem How Big Are Your Balls?

How Big Are Your Balls?

There is an abundance of reasons
Even for men to hate men
A myriad reasons why even men should
Be rightly ashamed of their gender
Please don't get excited prematurely
I am not saying smash the patriarch
Nor for equality sake smash the matriarch
In the west both thoughts is redundant
No real merit in them at all, sorry 5th wave
You aspire to be just like how men are
Certainly have shockingly low expectations
Even sometimes I don't want to be a man
That's a different poem

But I Digress

It is still amusing to me that men in general
Have lost most of their critical facilities
In Scotland we are still stuck in the 1950's
Where wife beating and sectarianism
Are still rife and unchecked, deliberately
Where men pretend to be men, "Le Macho"
Gratuitous violence is a real Scottish pastime
And not backing down or no surrender the cry
It is in our genetic makeup but it's still inexcusable
Being a lazy cunt does not progress make

I like to use the word cripple and the term half a man
Friends from a caring place rebuke me for such
They are at a loss as to why I would feel that way
Its only the Scottish people that will understand it
Mainly because it's what they believe and say
Big wannabe hard men growl showing their war face
They look at you with disgust wondering why you are outside
They show no fear laughing with their bar buddies
The man's wife a wee hairy Scot fakes pity he's just half a man
And oh how they laugh, spread the word and wave me away
I have become a man of no regard just a cripple, a retard
And ex-wives are all too keen to support their new bow regardless
Of the truth: After all I am only Half in stature - Half in status
Am I Right or am I Right?

Welcome to "Big Dave's Pandemonium of Stupid Mistakes Others Make."
I have had around 5 direct but veiled threats of violence today, apparently
Despite masturbating to it , they didn't like one of my "Vile." Poems
So I am supposed to be trembling now, living in a fearful state by Just
Another man that needs to learn from history and his story, shame.
So I decided not to tremble: Personally I just couldn't be fuckin bothered
His new life partner has sold him a bill of goods for a large packet of lies
He feels empowered, and confident as he makes the half man mistake
But like the rest of his ilk he's just a shite a shite in shiteing armour
He has one particular problem I was dragged up by a real hard man
A 100% proof mean old bastard an ex military policeman to boot
He taught me very little apart how to be a cunt like him. Not great!
But one thing abides and I only reconnected with it losing my legs
He said "Fear no man, never surrender, you are not in a fight to win a fight
You may well lose, but one thing: You are there to do as much damage as is
Physically possible in the time allowed, Take an eye out, bite an ear off,
Make him fear to come back for another round, terrorise them my son."
Sounds barbaric, is barbaric, but some idiots need dragged down to
The river and held under until they see the light, beware salvation
It's not all what it's cracked up to be

So take this scribe as a friendly warning some good advice, some wisdom
Know your limitations, know you're enemies know wannabe hard
Men have to pay the price

Here endeth the lesson - live long and fester
I'll be there in a minute once I get my balls into this wheelbarrow
Written by David_Macleod (14397816)
Published
Author's Note
Copyright © 2018 David Macleod All Rights Reserved. No part of this Poem may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of David Macleod. dtmacleod@easy.com
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1 reading list entries 0
comments 2 reads 485
Commenting Preference: 
The author encourages honest critique.

Latest Forum Discussions
SPEAKEASY
Today 3:20pm by Mstrmnd1923
SPEAKEASY
Today 1:45pm by Ahavati
SPEAKEASY
Today 1:39pm by nightbirdblue
COMPETITIONS
Today 1:05pm by Grace