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repetition compulsion

all these years
I’ve been on the quest
of saving someone

the infantile dream
I started as a child
to save my parents
out of the chaos of their lives

needless to say
I failed

I failed once
I failed again
and then again
and once again

with 4 [1]
my repetition compulsion [2]
has reached a full circle

am I going to repeat
compulsively again?

these futile attempts
to save people
to make them shine
to put them in the place
to shine forth
as diamonds on display
to prove my worth

somewhere between the memories
I can’t recall
I lost Her glance
and with it
I lost my worth
the worth of me
of me without the need of doing

somewhere between
our first date and the breakup
I lost your worth
the worth of you
of you without the need of doing

you left unsaved
and I left… still unworthy


[1]: Debug Poetry on Tumblr - 4 (poem) - https://debugpoetry.tumblr.com/post/172927132272/4
[2]: Wikipedia: Repetition Compulsion - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repetition_compulsion
debug
Written by debug
Published
Author's Note
A personal insight on my repetition compulsion
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Miss_Sub tangointhenight
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