I Remember

I remember

Late nights spent wondering at the moon like voyagers in an aimless, yet glorious sea. Smiling and speaking of dreams, hopes, and wishes from the shoes we wore to the twinkling stars above.

I remember

Every priceless touch. Each and every loving gaze, selfless smile like individual drops of rain on a bedroom window lulling me away to a land where the water was honey and the flowers were bright.

I remember

Strong yet gentle hands sweeping the hair from my face and tucking it behind my ear. Firm lips pressed to my forehead in a silent gesture of love.

I remember

Doing everything i could possibly ever do to keep him. Pouring love into everything i cooked. Dressing pretty to try and be the only thing he'd ever want to look at. Cleaning up and folding his clothes so he knew i would always be there for him like no one ever could. 100% effort all the time, every day. I finally had something good. Something amazing. I never wanted it to end. I was in a dream. I just forgot that dreams had their end.

I remember

trying too hard.

I remember

When he stopped holding my hand. The day it felt all off and all wrong. The day he was silent when i approached for a kiss. I remember that terrible feeling in my gut when the atmosphere turned to ice and the trees were no longer alive with their vibrant green. I remember the lack of warmth. I guess that's why I hate winter. I guess that's why I can't stand the cold.

I remember

Being desperate now. Begging him to stay. Trying to be sexier, prettier, better. I remember trying to do everything I knew he loved. I remember the old jokes rolling off my tongue then faltering before they reached the bitter air. I doubted myself. Wondered what was wrong with me. Why I wasnt good enough.

Why.
Why.
Why.

I remember

The abandonment.

Winter was never the same. Now.. can the silence stop?