Epic called 'ENTRAPMENT'
(Disclaimer: This is a very very long poem; my longest yet)
I walk a very thin line
I play with the devil's flames
I weave a web so enticing
I trap and treat my prey like game
My Innocence, I must proclaim
Yet I am always to blame
I do not notice my fame
I am untamed, so i maim, without meaning to I become acclaimed.
Fire with Fire.. that game!
Oh how I hate when everything is ALWAYS the same.
It was never my aim --to hurt and bruise
Yet how can my splitting heart choose?
Between two halves that make me complete
How can this Dame possibly compete?
I feel ashamed
I am shamed
Seclusion slowly came, I am not safe!
I am framed, by myself, moreover inflamed.
Jordanne is my name
My warning is I will make you burn, bruise and bleed
Entrapment, I exclaim!
I am afraid of myself and what I will do
My head is unscrewed.
I become shrewd, rude and cruel
I am not sorry for my 'bipolar' moods
I need help, yet none can save me but God
Entrapment within myself, from myself, is all I've got
All I ever wanted was to actually be loved and loved for
My exterior is inferior
Though internally I am superior to my lore
I unravel at the core.
I cannot be stopped, there is NO end!!
I must be destined to die alone
For my mind, body and soul can never choose
--which is which and what is what
They're rarely in sync with each other
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother
--with my deep thoughts and emotions!
Oh how my existence revolves around those notions --such an uprising commotion!
I become my own enemy
I wallow in agony
I plead for sanity
All I have is my poetry!
I am trustworthy
Although, I know not my own identity
Lord have mercy, I try to live for liberty
Yet I exude lunacy-- such a dichotomy!
I cannot handle flattery or people ignoring me
I am my own scrutiny
How is there so much on-going tendencies?
Where can I find a remedy?
I am filled with anxiety
Where is my sympathy or empathy?
Why is my whole existence an extremity?
I suffer such brutality, within such brilliance, I flux like a symphony
I have so much humility
Though I always pay the penalty
I have come to despise my adversity, versatility, authenticity, mystery and purity
I scream internally at my misery!
I become contradictory
Entrapment surrounds my fidelity
With such conviction and conformity
I promise this calls for an emergency
Things will not subside subtlety
Why do I still have the audacity to contend with this travesty?
Such a tragedy, complete tyranny!
I must pronounce I am guilty
Within a reasonable doubt of idiocy!
Do you see my inconsistencies???
Entrapment within my own slavery?
Therein creeps my duplicity!
Such a 'Double Jeopardy'!
Look at my life story
One must see the comedy?
I am weary of my fantasies
I never have privacy.
What a sweet savory hypocrisy!
Who read my prophesy?
Will someone just kill me?
I am a mockery!
Forget formalities, but ALWAYS remember the memories.
Where is my humanity?
I have an immense personality, with defining qualities, a treasured variety!
My dream job is psychology & I miss my stupidity.
Now here's the REALITY:
Nothing I do is ever satisfactory
Even with my spontaneity
There is no validity, just vulgarity!
Laughing is a key necessity
People are scared by my intensity
Awestruck and in wonder of my maturity
None found can match my serenity
Although I secretly crave stability!
My sensibility and sensuality are in such proximity that recovery is my first priority.
Entrapment is my master and my monstrosity
Entrapment entraps me totally, indefinitely!
I am seriously my own fatality
I believe in Theology
Subsequently, I try to live piously
But my mind still cries hauntingly!
I can't stand my dexterity
I cannot stop, there is NO END
Undoubtedly, I cannot pretend!
I also cannot contend.
I am so broken and bent.
Why do I seem God sent?
With this impending Entrapment
I feel like I've dived back into »Abandonment«
No one but I, can solve these predicaments
What is your sentiment?
For I know for a FACT only God can save me from my judgment.
My Life is an addicting excitement,
A sweet sick sorrow that is quite an »Entrapment«.