deepundergroundpoetry.com
Dolls Museum
They dwell in the Middletown East-
Half a dozen elves with a couple of owls
Are but guaranteed spectators deaf and dumb
And they never complained about the gyrating springs.
The mechanics of those springs are defined;
Their spiral spleens inside the china clay crafts
Made the South Indian dancers so much popular
And they share space with Winehouse and MJ.
Yet there are many more breeds that they boast about-
The albatross perched upon pure leather wrinkles
That was shaped like a bull with actual calcium horns;
One French artiste’s last piece and he was killed by voodoo dolls.
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Half a dozen elves with a couple of owls
Are but guaranteed spectators deaf and dumb
And they never complained about the gyrating springs.
The mechanics of those springs are defined;
Their spiral spleens inside the china clay crafts
Made the South Indian dancers so much popular
And they share space with Winehouse and MJ.
Yet there are many more breeds that they boast about-
The albatross perched upon pure leather wrinkles
That was shaped like a bull with actual calcium horns;
One French artiste’s last piece and he was killed by voodoo dolls.
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Published 25th Oct 2011
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Anonymous
25th Oct 2011 12:22pm
I love the last line, how suddenly grim and surreal it is. Shows a dark sense of humour I'd love to see you explore. There's some nice petite imagery here, the defined springs and spiral spleens. A subtly gruesome poem.
A couple of grammatical nits:
*"Are but guaranteed spectators deaf and dumb" - The syntax here is a bit confused. How about "Are guaranteed spectators, deaf and dumb"?
*"[...] so much popular" - I think you need "more" after "much".
A couple of grammatical nits:
*"Are but guaranteed spectators deaf and dumb" - The syntax here is a bit confused. How about "Are guaranteed spectators, deaf and dumb"?
*"[...] so much popular" - I think you need "more" after "much".
26th Oct 2011 00:59am
