In the future we’ll see

Are you living to die or dying to live?
Tired of thinking about this
So I mean somethings gotta give.
Im here to find my main purpose and that’s about it.
Why do we love?
Why do we care?
Why are we cruel?
Why do we me tear...
People apart
Falling in love
Breaking our hearts
Love keeps you blind
life is so hard,
Look at me now
Look what you’ve done
Feeling paralyzed,
Feeling so numb,
Feeling so used,
So stupid,
So dumb
I try and I try
But believe me I’m not thinking of suicide
No i don’t want to die!
I wanna change lives!
Although I admit that I,
I feel weak sometimes,
And I just wanna cry..
Begging for the lord to answer why?
Lord why?
I want her to feel this pain,
I want her to feel this hurt,
Im here drowning in the rain,
With feelings I don’t deserve,
So tell what’s the word?
I mean this is how I feel,
Im not scared to show my heart to you all,
See I’m not popping pills,
Im not tryna kill,
Myself or who I am,
But it’s okay for me to feel lost and it’s okay for you not to understand
Im in search of my life’s next plan
So I’m sorry.
Im sorry if I haven’t been as strong as I should be.
I can’t seem to understand what anything really means and it seems.
That my mind has drifted away.
But i mean i don’t truly want to be away.
I mean like I am here to stay
Because I have things to say,
I have things to do,
Im not ready.
No. I’m not ready to go,
I got betrayed and yeah in my chest there is a hole,
In my heart there is no hope
And writing rhymes and smoking green is how I tend to cope,
But no...
I don’t want to go.
Don’t judge me though man leave me alone.
Sooner or later,
I’ll finally know.
Why it is we’re here.
Why happiness is far and pain is always near.
The truth I hope you hear.
I swear to you lord I don’t wanna die but rather live and try to fight these demons deep inside and change all my peoples lives.
I wanna make the world better from the heart that is inside.
Never have I pondered suicide but rather felt like life just makes no sense.
Forgive me for these sorrow words and feelings please I do repent
I mean my poems speaks for itself I know I understand.
But day by day i strive to be a better man.
It okay not to understand me.
Trust me I understand.
My mind has been growing in pain and drowning in sorrow.
I think I’m finally reaching the shore now....
We might not understand today.
We’ll understand tomorrow.
You’ll see.
We’ll understand in the future.
Believe me.