Pieces of my Soul

Washing my hands with blood to fade the scars only I can see
Burning my skin just to try to feel something
The smell of flesh escaping my prison
Will someone outside catch whiff?

The small good of my childhood chipping into the darkness
Replaced by the screams of others around me
Bearing what I had to bear
Wishing I could help but too afraid to stand up

My heart like a puzzle losing pieces every time it opens up
Trying to sleep dreading waking up
  to the terrible days that engulf me
I wish my whole life was a single day
Being born in the morning
Dying at night
Only have to cope with 12 hours of life

The painful days are short compared to the nights that drag on
I wish I was that bird that just ran into my window
Happy. hopeful. dead.
scrubbing my face in hopes to wash the bruises off
Am I hopeless? Or am I helpless?
I believe in nothing because nothing believes in me
Trying to live and trying to die