Confessing/no more secrets

I'm not going to hide anything right now...
Due to someone saying something...
I'm going to say everything on my mind...

I'm jealous of my friend...
Idk whether it's just because he has a girlfriend or if it's cause of who it is...

Second option i think...
Sorry man...

I've been trying to piece things together seeing how she really feels about me...

I've been thinking about sex for the past two weeks... Not with her though... Just in general

I'm going to say everything that happened on our class trip too...
Sorry marina... If there was anything you didn't want me to say... I can't say that i thought of you as just a friend the entire trip...

Oh boy...
The first day...
This is hard to say... Because i don't know how you'll take it...
We got there and we put everything away...
I didn't trust my classmate, chuck, so i was trying to make sure he wasn't alone with marina...
Then we went and had a water balloon fight...
Oh boy this was interesting...
First thing that happened... I got hit in the dick!
I wasn't targeting until five minutes in...
Then i was exploding them over her head and against her stomach... I know not supposed cause of ... Reasons... I went up from behind her and grabbed her... Exploding the balloon. I did at one point hit her in the ass with one... Unintentionally...
I picked her up in the bridal position and spun her around.
After that we went to a spot where there was water spraying water out of a pipe...
Chuck covered the pipe and i picked her up... Carried her over and he moved his hand spraying her... She was laughing i think hearing that was when i started feeling something...
We headed back and chuck started talking to her again... I was feeling jealous...
Second day i was trying to get closer... I was hugging her more... Feeling something changing faster...
I know I'm leaving stuff out... But my memory worsens the more i talk about a specific day...
This day was weird though...
We got so close...
It's like she was imagining i was you...
I almost fell asleep on her three... Times?
But she also put her head on my shoulder...
When we got back...
I sat next to her... When everyone went in... She leaned into me... Like she does with you...
When people came back out she didn't move...
We didn't move until we had to...
She then acted like i was the fucking plague... She sat in the room with isaac!!
I was getting more and more jealous...
Third day... We went to the zoo... Her group got lost...
When we met up... I hugged her from behind... Then... Chuck came behind me and hugged both of us... Putting his hand on my arm... I didn't want to move... I patted his hand and then ended up letting go... He did too...
After that... I ignore her... Avoided her... Trying to get her to talk to me... Without saying anything first...
It didn't work and i gave up... I ended up hugging her more... Till we had to leave...
I told her... "If you ever miss me grab that keychain piece and realize... I will be too...

I think i do feel something for her... However my friends are more important then myself...

This is part one... Cause I'm tired af and bored af...