trapped

sitting here, trapped
the four walls are the norm
the garden and walking around the estate
another norm
just boring same old scenes
kind of saddening, really
isolation sucks when all you want to be is free
when you need and want more
and you are stuck in a place you'd rather not be
i'm a human being and honestly
i feel like life has lost the plot with me
sitting here with my fingertips typing on the computer again
in the same old bedroom
in the same old house
nothing to look forward to or anything different planned
just me, and a frustrating life
some people say you can choose how to live your life
well i say , do you know what you are talking about
i've never had enough of a choice
i cannot live the life of my choosing
because i am limited, not capable
of living the life of my choosing
if i had a choice i would be out there right now
with a group of friends laughing my socks off
and having fun but i can't
because i havn't got that group of girlfriends
so you tell me how to live the life of my choosing
when my mind is stopping me
you tell me how to be content
when a lot of my wants and needs are not met
in this lie of a life which i have been given
i am not satisfied
remember that i am a human being
and i need a lot more
i need a real social life
i need a life outside of these four walls
i need days planned out and things to look forward to
its no surprise that sometimes i get down and in a bucket of pain
this is not beneficial to me
living my life in the same old scenes
but i still , i cannot make a life for myself
and i do not know how to live life
so then someone tell me to not get sad
when i am missing out on so much that i need and want
you tell me not to ever get sad
because i cannot help it
i wish i could but i can't
life sucks when you feel trapped
in your mind, in a house , in four walls
in the same old scenes
i'm so utterly fed up of never being able
to truly move forward in the way i want to
and all because i feel incapable
my skills for life feel lacking and my mind
well, it does not know how to do life
so no wander i feel lost and trapped
i wish i could escape, go somewhere else
i just want a totally new life
where is it