rusted out thoughts from the edge

  Dark  rusted out thoughts from the edge


 
insanity is crashing down on me in waves---comma----    
I can feel her come to hunt me----full stop.    
the power in me intoxicating-----comma---because the next is on a different tangent----    
but sometimes even it must be paid ------full stop.    
   
if I come down hard,----- so be it, ---    
it's a journey to where I'm going    
the bumpy road is worth it    
just for all the things you see    
I don't want to miss a thing    
   
my mind is open and dreaming    
the world doesn't know me yet    
but it will    
   
taste of my disease    
insanity on tap    
drink it and get drunk off it  
   
my mind is spinnin    
crazy ride all the way to the top    
hold on for life    
we're going up fast    
   
on this roller coaster called life    
I excel    
pleasing myself    
and yes I do it well    
   
fuck the rats    
scuttling inside    
I'll see you on the outside    
in the outhouse taking a crap,    
you'll be caught with your pants down    
   
with my nonsense rambling    
watch, the city burn    
as my verse tumbles forth    
   
thoughts so scattered it's convoluted
can't seem to capture them    
they're speaking to me    
in a voice that's foreign    
   
where are my insane writers?  
   
the ones that masturbate cockroaches    
and give birth to bastard thought  
off the hook madness  
damn I miss you all    
   
with your rusted moon menstruation
who gives a fuck if we make sense?  
   
bring me your darkness  
let me shelter in it  
as I fuck the devil  
then scare the shit out of him  
cos he doesn't know what manner of being    
this mad woman is  
   
let's go out back of the White House  
piss on the lawn with our madness  
as it sprouts little flowers of rebellion
for the formal teachings  
   
break the rules and bend minds  
   
as a cunt blooms roses  
after being fingerbanged  
by a switchblade    
   
slither in the gardens of the mind  
and defecate filth  
let it rape emotions  
make them ache with regret  
   
that they opened this page  
and it made them wet  
from the depravity of it

punctuation is the gift that yourself gives to your poem, and pass that your gift onto some else;  

you have no poems or I would be obliged to critique you...

I didn't finish your poem because I became pissed off with it,

because of punctuation; I'm truly sorry about that because of I have added rope to your dress,

I'm very sorry about that!

thank you Slow Fires for taking the time people go back and forth with advice about punctuation I was once told it stilted my writes and it would be better off without it... sorry about the aggravation...

love Crim

I cannot get on this site to list my poems, I try, believe you me,

go to my profile and hit( list poems) it there in some dark corner,

punctuations are the gift you give to your poems, and that gift is given to others to enjoy;

that -you very, very very, much

ps go and have a read of   thewalcher33, poem hot 16 etc, etc, etc.

your poem is a good solid wright,

write some new stuff and post here under Slow Fires... I would love to see your style... I read the watcher 33's poem it was good but I'm not on that wavelength at the moment...

appreciate your time...

thank you...

love Crim

let me back to you and give you the justice you deserve.

I look forward to it dearest Slow Fires...

I truly believe, my dear sister, that style is independent from rules. The great poets of the past have created their own language art and rules. With all do respect for others and their considerations, I truly believe that each poet has a style and rules have nothing to do with it. Otherwise the great poets of the past (see the Italian hermeneutic movement and Ungaretti et al.) would not have been capable of doing what they have done. This poem has an excellence unique to your style. Its message is powerful and clear. I love it and feel it in all its metaphoric beauty. The poets create the language (it's not a static thing) and the rules. Academics explain and apply. Poets are not bound by academics. You are a great poetess in our time. Hugs to you J.

thank you dearest Juvenalis for feeling me on this point I know the rules of grammar and punctuation but this poem is all about what you stated breaking the rules and making your own with true artistic freedom... you are so knowledgeable dearest poet I cherish your thoughts and am humbled by them as well in the love you show me and my writing..

love & hugs...

Brenda

You honour me too much, dear one. But I truly believe what I have just said. Don't change your ways for anyone. Alway love yourself and what you think. Trust in your heart. Your style is born there. Hugs J.

thank you dearest Juvenalis I will who knows what could happen for any of us trusting our guts??? possibly success but the real failure would be not trying...

love & hugs...

Brenda

I wouldn't worry too much about grammar or punctuation.  You can deviate from the accepted rules for effect, and be devastating.  These two lines are my favorites, King's English or no:

with your rusted moon menstruation
who gives a fuck if we make sense?

I love your style and would hate to see it contained by "correct" grammar.  Write on, dear Lady!

thank you dearest Sir Crow for showing love on this write yeah out with proper grammar and all that it wouldn't be the same deliver other wise... I love that you highlighted that part I think this person missed the point of this poem..

love Crim

It's a nice dark piece, ragealicious, I love the title, and the picture is gripping, too, it set the tone from the beginning and fit well..

thank you graciously beautiful PR for showing love on this write..

love Crim

It is raw and bloody to the point. The muses all slumber, gurgling in their own spit.

thank you dearest Xmar my spirit muse is a little crazy I think...

love Brenda