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Image for the poem A Guide for the Lady Considering the Purchase of a Foreign Automobile

A Guide for the Lady Considering the Purchase of a Foreign Automobile

A lady choosing to purchase a car
whose manufacture comes from afar
should consider the nation
avoiding frustration!
Hereís my man-splaining, brief seminar.

British cars topped performance and fashion,
and some Jags display lots of passion!
But most have grown frumpy,
and their driveshafts are stumpy!
Their drivers donít get any action!

I wonít recommend Japanese,
cars for those who hate cars and love trees!
No man with a penis
should ride in a Prius!
Does the world need 10 million Camrys???

Italian cars clearly have the best style,
their beauty never fails to beguile!
...but I canít say this gently:
ďSevere Penis Envy!Ē
Öand, the service becomes quite a trial!

German autos are all about thrust!
Penetration, without any trust!
If they see it, they own it!
You had better postpone it!
Do you like wearing a gag and a truss?

French cars have the softest of rides,
even the cheapest ones do; and, besides,
all men adore
a Parisian whore,
if she has rust-free undersides!

Get a truck! Thatís the answer for you!
Made in America, itís tried and it's true!
and youíll get your best fuck
in the bed of that truck
from a RED-neck in WHITE socks, balls of BLUE!

ReggiePoet
Written by ReggiePoet (Reggie)
Published
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