Another sleepless night

 

I’m awake even though I shouldn’t be,
No one knows the affect it has on me.
My eyes may be tired and my body may be weak,
But I can’t help it if my brain won’t let me sleep.
The air from the fan bouncing off these plain walls is the only sound,
Well the only one that can be heard aloud.
Like an iPod on repeat Inside of my head memories play,
My mistakes and failures linger around like predators stalking their prey.
I’ve hated myself for awhile,
Even though on the outside you see a smile.
I hate that I feel this way I try so hard to escape,
Pretending to eat the food on my plate.
Skipping meals and loosing weight.
I feel like I deserve the pain,
More scars and despair are the only things I seem to gain.