If Youíre Wondering
does It matter at all,
this man behind the facade?
how I work my ass off
for a house of two
I have a drive that wonít quit
and I wonít accept any bullshit
would bleed to death
if it meant my lover will be ok
yeah I know,
itís not like anyone asked me
I spend my afternoons with my other
walking around enjoying the scenery
looking over at such beauty
sometimes I think
if I die right here
I will die happy
but does that matter to you?
if I dropped dead?
how many more reads will my poetry get?
will it connect to someone like me?
or is there anyone else like me?
so many questions of,
what is it all worth?
I spend my off days watching anime
playing video games
taking my girl out to eat
sometimes picking out a movie
we lay in bed for hours
holding each other till she falls asleep
I work nights so I stay up working out
blasting rock music the whole time
I rest as she goes off to her job
quite the smiplle life
if you really care
I wonder how much drama I have left to give?
do I have to pretend that Iím a cheater?
maybe an over sexed abuser?
is my fantasies now seen as reality?
or is it that no one cares to see,
past the pretty little pictures,
these words create?
you know, not all of them are fake
sometimes I feel
my love of poetry is one sided
Iím no more then a whore to be used by the artistry
poetry takes me then leaves me
and Iím always bitter for it
sometimes I wonder if my poetry
represents me at all
or maybe just a fantasy I wish to live