Constant & Changing

1983 was a turbulant year for me. This is the time period when I fell into a deep depression. Much of my life for the next 12 years is foggy memories that are based more on my poems, stories I wrote about them and journal entries than on actual recollections of the past. I have numerous photos of family events that I have no recall of.
Poems of introspection came from a lot of soul searching while considering suicide. Had I not written explanations in my journals as to why I wrote many of those poems, I would have virtually no idea why I wrote them. There is no mention of any terrible event in my life that would explain the gaps in memory, and I do have some clear memories of random events, but I am not sure why I even recall those as nothing particularly special was happening. I often wonder if it is a faulty memory or just supressed memories. I don't even remember when I started forgetting or if I just never retained things. Maybe I have just run out of brain cells.

The chameleon stays the same even as it changes colours. Its still a chameleon. This poem is a testimony of your being. You feel therefore you are.

exactly! thanks for the comment Grace.

It's a theme echoed in many works; that we are constantly adapting yet true to selves. If we were born perfect, we wouldn't be able to keep getting better, right?

I have actually read many poems similar to this over the years and I find it interesting how constant the universe is while everything in it changes. I have all of these things inside me, I manage them for the most part. But even the things I don't want inside me are always there, waiting for a chance to take control. 20 was a turning point in my life and for a long time, I am uncertain of the choices I made. It's a marker in time for me, as I left to wonder about the 12 lost years my body existed without me. jj

brilliant self poem very much enjoyed Poetryman!

Hey Mememe, how ya been? Thanks for the comment. So glad you like it! JJ

enjoyed!

simple n quaint! the end really train-wrecked ;( i know there is a revision inside that will allow it to exhale softer...

"Commenting Preference: The author is looking for friendly feedback."

I happen to think the ending is the best part of the poem, but thanks anyway. It's nice to know that you pay attention to the Commenting preference. If I wanted dritical opinions on poems I wrote 30 years ago, I'd have said so. Revisions are meaningless at this point! JJ

The depth and the simplicity of this art work is incredible.

Thank you Olivia. 37 years of water under the bridge lead back to simpler times, though they didn't seem that way then...
JJ