Fraying Nerves

I was seeking a calm
before submitting myself to the chair.

You read the anxiety in my jerky movements
and decided to pounce.

I told you I was overwhelmed
and regretted saying anything.

I was longing for compassion,
not an investigation into all the wrongs.

But that is how it goes
when expectations are concerned.

I needed love
and you wanted to spar.

The futility of self-defence
feeding more doubt
and inadequacy.

A defeated posture,
my resignation.

A half hour to go,
and I will be in the chair,
a mouth yanked in all directions.

But I am facing the fear of my neglect.