deepundergroundpoetry.com
in bluest night
am i enough for you
and there was nothing
i could do
as masks were tamed
and some blue
came fading through the moon
streamed thinking
things
sinking
stringing
beneath
bringing
lapsed
laughs
of
time
travelled
dance
in doorways of romance
the rapid chance
circling in
circumstance
falling like
creatures
crawling
and calling
moon beds in laughing light
soft sweetness
tender knife
cuts like a cloud
in bluest night
and there was nothing
i could do
as masks were tamed
and some blue
came fading through the moon
streamed thinking
things
sinking
stringing
beneath
bringing
lapsed
laughs
of
time
travelled
dance
in doorways of romance
the rapid chance
circling in
circumstance
falling like
creatures
crawling
and calling
moon beds in laughing light
soft sweetness
tender knife
cuts like a cloud
in bluest night
Published 14th May 2018
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comments 4
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The author encourages honest critique.
14th May 2018 7:47pm
wispy and etehreal....feels like a feather falling then caught in an updraft...I enjoyed your flight of lyrical fancy
16th May 2018 9:24pm
19th May 2018 1:56pm
I echo Lawrence's comment.
"streamed thinking / things / sinking / stringing / beneath / bringing " --this reads like a fun tongue twister, but also thought provoking.
"soft sweetness
tender knife
cuts like a cloud in bluest night"--I love the metaphor , soft sweetness is like a tender knife, smart and romantic.
Dear Marielle, I can feel your pure heart through your words. You are like a beautiful angel.
love
Jasmine
"streamed thinking / things / sinking / stringing / beneath / bringing " --this reads like a fun tongue twister, but also thought provoking.
"soft sweetness
tender knife
cuts like a cloud in bluest night"--I love the metaphor , soft sweetness is like a tender knife, smart and romantic.
Dear Marielle, I can feel your pure heart through your words. You are like a beautiful angel.
love
Jasmine
20th May 2018 1:33am
wow rose thank you so much for your words, they really made my day. love marielle much much love always
