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deepundergroundpoetry.com
Voices in my Head
“Obey us girl,”
Snarls the creature in the mirror.
“Feed your beast.” he says,
The whispers come nearer.
“Give in my dear, your fate is inevitable,
We’ve put up with you long enough,
And have been nothing but charitable.”
You lied to me my whole life,
Let me think I was in control,
A snake playing with his prey,
Then swallowing me whole.
At one point I thought you cared about me,
But it was all a game to you
“Love and Fear are of the same coin,
So it’s all the same to you.”
So you knew I was cracking, and you broke me anyway?
“We thought you would be happy Mistress, but we worked to our dismay.”
Mistress? What? Why have I been given this title?
“You’ve created us my Queen,
And to us you are vital..”
Then why do you chain me up and lock me away?
If I am truly your master,
I order you to cut me loose!
“We can’t my Queen,
We tried but it’s no use.”
You lied again you hold the keys in your hand!
Why are you doing this?
I don’t understand!
It is not that simple my Queen,
Our hands have been tied,
Because your body wants to live,
But your spirit wants to die.
Snarls the creature in the mirror.
“Feed your beast.” he says,
The whispers come nearer.
“Give in my dear, your fate is inevitable,
We’ve put up with you long enough,
And have been nothing but charitable.”
You lied to me my whole life,
Let me think I was in control,
A snake playing with his prey,
Then swallowing me whole.
At one point I thought you cared about me,
But it was all a game to you
“Love and Fear are of the same coin,
So it’s all the same to you.”
So you knew I was cracking, and you broke me anyway?
“We thought you would be happy Mistress, but we worked to our dismay.”
Mistress? What? Why have I been given this title?
“You’ve created us my Queen,
And to us you are vital..”
Then why do you chain me up and lock me away?
If I am truly your master,
I order you to cut me loose!
“We can’t my Queen,
We tried but it’s no use.”
You lied again you hold the keys in your hand!
Why are you doing this?
I don’t understand!
It is not that simple my Queen,
Our hands have been tied,
Because your body wants to live,
But your spirit wants to die.
Published 13th May 2018
| Edited 30th Mar 2022
Author's Note
I suffer from a slew of mental illnesses, and often feel trapped in my own mind. Hopefully this can help people understand that just because you can't see a sickness, doesn't mean it isn't there. I apologize if this triggers anyone. that is not my intention. I just want to be understood.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Anonymous
13th May 2018 2:39pm
This a very moving piece. Great job although your authors note upsets me as in no way should anyone ever feel the need to apologize for anything like that that is beyond their control. If this triggers anything good or bad it’s better than being ignorant to the subject. But anyways great job here.
14th May 2018 4:42am
*love* as a sufferer of depression I know this mood all to well! You expressed your trial's very well!
14th May 2018 4:54am
15th May 2018 2:32am
i gravitate toward those writers fraught with the agonizing bane colluded from 10,000 maniacs within pith o' mine fifty + shades of gray matter.
most all my LIX long life aye felt besieged by nanobyte sized zombies swarming hither and yon, to and fro this emotionally battered psyche perched atop a luck less neck, which noggin aggrieved by cretins dead set on pitching these lovely bones upon the bonfire of the vanities!
those days of debilitating, harvey wall banger head banging, and self lambasting psychologically volcanic daze mooch less common since relying on a half dozen pharmacological medications, which willingness to acquiesce, (sans taking controlled substances) found self loathing at inherent weakness to cure mental illness by the power of positive thinking.
hm...maybe this nonestablishmentarian man will let shine the figurative light on such accursed, condemned, and entwined ghastly intolerable kicked life, marooned primate ready to live at last!
most all my LIX long life aye felt besieged by nanobyte sized zombies swarming hither and yon, to and fro this emotionally battered psyche perched atop a luck less neck, which noggin aggrieved by cretins dead set on pitching these lovely bones upon the bonfire of the vanities!
those days of debilitating, harvey wall banger head banging, and self lambasting psychologically volcanic daze mooch less common since relying on a half dozen pharmacological medications, which willingness to acquiesce, (sans taking controlled substances) found self loathing at inherent weakness to cure mental illness by the power of positive thinking.
hm...maybe this nonestablishmentarian man will let shine the figurative light on such accursed, condemned, and entwined ghastly intolerable kicked life, marooned primate ready to live at last!
16th Dec 2019 5:45pm
Body wants to live but spirit wants to die...
The spirit...
I hope you find love dear spirit, Love is Light, it will Wash away the filthy darkness... and the fear
I wish I could give you a hug, full of warmth and maybe the chains will melt with the warmth.
Peace
The spirit...
I hope you find love dear spirit, Love is Light, it will Wash away the filthy darkness... and the fear
I wish I could give you a hug, full of warmth and maybe the chains will melt with the warmth.
Peace
10th Apr 2020 11:54am
Words fail me
Someone said there are moments when all you have to do is listen
This is one them
I heard you
Someone said there are moments when all you have to do is listen
This is one them
I heard you
23rd Jul 2020 9:22am
I do as well. I deal with obsessive compulsive disorder and bipolar. This is a powerful write and you do a phenomenal job of expressing what it is like dealing with these inner demons. It's impossible to not feel or even hear. You have a strong voice. Keep it up and keep fighting. Can relate. It's not an easy road to walk and more people need to be educated about what it is really like dealing with mental illness. Support and understanding is getting a little better but still has a ways to go.
