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Post Script Incantation
“Who knows how to make love stay?”
-Tom Robbins-
I’ve learned some things
from the satellites
of my own intuition
This time I am not just letters received,
I am also the envelope
Wet purple ink
Paper cuts
The acid lick of a forever stamp
Keep my postcards with you always
I just love
How you hold out on reading them
Savor them
Allow them entrance in the
middle of the night
Where we can talk about Goethe and Plath and
which one of us is actually
Waiting for Godot
I get it now
I likened myself to Don Quixote
but you wanted me as Dulcinea
This entire time we were both
windmills
I promise to drink you under the table
always
So let’s make merry with the sherry
No one makes me laugh like you
Or feel so intensely
My intent is pure and good and you keep saying
“We can only be serious,”
But I’ve been serious
Serious is the last thing
I ever want to be again
And certainly not with you
I love you too much
I always did
I always will
That’s how I’m wired
Faulty mechanisms and power strips
Naked and trembling
from cold, not fear.
-Tom Robbins-
I’ve learned some things
from the satellites
of my own intuition
This time I am not just letters received,
I am also the envelope
Wet purple ink
Paper cuts
The acid lick of a forever stamp
Keep my postcards with you always
I just love
How you hold out on reading them
Savor them
Allow them entrance in the
middle of the night
Where we can talk about Goethe and Plath and
which one of us is actually
Waiting for Godot
I get it now
I likened myself to Don Quixote
but you wanted me as Dulcinea
This entire time we were both
windmills
I promise to drink you under the table
always
So let’s make merry with the sherry
No one makes me laugh like you
Or feel so intensely
My intent is pure and good and you keep saying
“We can only be serious,”
But I’ve been serious
Serious is the last thing
I ever want to be again
And certainly not with you
I love you too much
I always did
I always will
That’s how I’m wired
Faulty mechanisms and power strips
Naked and trembling
from cold, not fear.
Published 7th May 2018
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likes 5
reading list entries 2
comments 4
reads 573
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
7th May 2018 1:04am
Excellent Pen , and post !
You had me hooked by Tom Robbins , by the time you got to
Goethe , and Plath , and Godot , Don Quixote , Dulcinea ,
I was right by your side , along for the ride , and when you then
finished with being wired , and power strips , I loved the rip and riff !
Well done !
Eye be watchin' you !
You had me hooked by Tom Robbins , by the time you got to
Goethe , and Plath , and Godot , Don Quixote , Dulcinea ,
I was right by your side , along for the ride , and when you then
finished with being wired , and power strips , I loved the rip and riff !
Well done !
Eye be watchin' you !
7th May 2018 1:41am
Another quill in your cap, Starlight. I thoroughly enjoyed this offering.
To honor your request for honest critique, there are two things I feel might enhance the flow:
Firstly;
My intent is pure and good and you keep saying
I would replace the first 'and' with a comma. This will cut out redundancy. I also suggest breaking the line in two as such:
My intent is pure, good
and you keep saying
"We can only be serious,"
I suggest this because I love how good would fall right into serious, highlighting the assonance of o.
Secondly,
“We can only be serious,”
The comma is brilliant, really. It signifies there's more that you aren't sharing. This peaks the reader's interest and causes speculation.
What I would suggest is ellipses after the comma to allow the mystery to bloom. Or, you could simply remove the comma ( which would be my preference ).
Outside of those two things, I have absolutely nothing else to offer except I feel it's a great read. It carries the reader along nicely.
Well done.
To honor your request for honest critique, there are two things I feel might enhance the flow:
Firstly;
My intent is pure and good and you keep saying
I would replace the first 'and' with a comma. This will cut out redundancy. I also suggest breaking the line in two as such:
My intent is pure, good
and you keep saying
"We can only be serious,"
I suggest this because I love how good would fall right into serious, highlighting the assonance of o.
Secondly,
“We can only be serious,”
The comma is brilliant, really. It signifies there's more that you aren't sharing. This peaks the reader's interest and causes speculation.
What I would suggest is ellipses after the comma to allow the mystery to bloom. Or, you could simply remove the comma ( which would be my preference ).
Outside of those two things, I have absolutely nothing else to offer except I feel it's a great read. It carries the reader along nicely.
Well done.
25th Jan 2019 11:02pm
Dear wonderful Ahavati, Thank you for taking the time to edit and carefully help writers cultivate their work. I can't believe I'm just seeing this now. Thank you so much.
Haven't been on this site in a while. It's been an interesting year...2019 will hopefully be more blissfully poetic :)
Haven't been on this site in a while. It's been an interesting year...2019 will hopefully be more blissfully poetic :)
