Gamble (a collaboration with  Ken (Ken Ebersole) and myself)

Charming hooks pierced my heart
Tiny metal x's trail  
straight down the middle
 
Dark liquid trickles
Pooling inside my soul
Drowning it with rocks stuffed inside  
Rocks of contradictory emotions
Just thoughts that imprison
 
Shame has me hidding any evidence
Birding it in the corners of my  
Captured bruised mind.
 
All if it a frutile attempt because it only explodes randomly its as if the blood drowning my soul has become gasoline.
It combusts as we viciously tear at eachother
 
You hid your warning  
Deliberately because you needed
That bit if power.  
That opportune moment that it would hurt the most
When it would blow up my sanity and
Written on the floorboards are your hatered and resentment towards me.  
They must look like perfect birds to a coffin you intend to make for me.
 
 
 
Always playing The victim  
With a knife behind your back  
Like a child you think no one can see  
 
One day I swear to God I’ll put you in the ground myself  
 
You plead with me for forgiveness  
Begging me for another chance  
The Second your words hit the air they turn to lies  
You know I’m not going anywhere  
You Just enjoy hearing me forgive you  
You’re not sorry in the least  
You use my pity for you against me like it’s a weakness every chance you get  
 
Angry when I don’t forgive you  
You try to coax the demon in me  
Pummeling me with your fists in anger  
Trying to turn me into something I’m not.  
As I hold my head up and look at you  
I can actually feel the hate flowing  from my eyes  
No I won’t be that man that raises his hand to you in anger  
But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about it
 
 
 
Left alone trembling
Fists and boots  
don't always touch my skin but that dosnt seem to matter  
It feels like they touch my mind
Somehow that's worse
 
Tears fill my eyes but  
I know I must be good and
 not let them leave streams on my
Red and hot cheeks
The anger that would come  
Barreling towards me is unstable and  
Beyond dangerous
 
They say run  
That I won't live if I stay
That sorrow is  
Picking at our skeletons
But maybe I need to test sanity
Gamble with life  
In this deadly game with you.  


 Copyright ©2019
Laura Behrmann (a.ka jadedembers). All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted  
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All my poetry is copyrighted and stored in an author base. All material subject to Copyright infringement laws
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Act, 17 U.S.C. S512(c)(3), Laura Behrmann (a.ka jadedembers)