Differences

I do but I don’t.  
 
That should be my mantra where trust is concerned.  
   
And it got me to thinking, what are we, as humans, if we cannot stand completely bare, and expose ourselves wholly ?  
   
I don’t mean our bodies, I mean our inner selves, which consist of the most fragile and intimate portions within our self, the portions that make up who we are, below the mask that each of us wear.  
 
It’s all about heart & soul. However, there’s a downside to being naked, psychologically & emotionally. that is.    
   
Yet, there's also a time and place for complete exposure.    
   
I often get myself into mischief by being too brutally honest, but who I was, isn’t who I am.
 
It’s here & now, and not a moment of, back then.
   
We're all delicate and intricate in our characteristics & nature, and my admission to being fickle is something that will always be forthcoming.   
   
I’m aware that certain elements of the past have shaped me, this will always be acknowledged, but I’ve measured my progress in life thus far, and I do believe that I’ve carved the best possible life that I could for myself, given the circumstances and adversity experienced, to date.  
   
I’m not responsible for another’s perception.

And will wholeheartedly reject the stance of anyone who claims to base their opinions on small portions of information they’ve gathered, to form their baseless opinion(s), that seemingly, reflect their own inner self, and not me per se.  
   
Sometimes, I disclose my inner layers to enable me to breath more effectively, and if it enables others to grasp their own self holistically, good for them.    
   
Self-acceptance is something that many of us find difficult to acquire.    
   
I embrace the negative and positive of everyone, and most importantly, myself as I understand the gravity of the diversity that exists within my self.  
   
Some days, I wander as I wonder why I allow others to seep beneath my skin, to the point where I’ve absorbed their negative vibrations, especially the negativity associated with the kind of words and opinions that cut me deeply, to the point where I lose my grip, and start a process of inner self interrogation.    
   
And still, the same conclusion is always drawn, that my life has been fully lived. I’m not innocent, from a holy perspective, but I’m by no means, monstrous either.  
   
I’ve been loved, fucked, married, divorced, hated, loved & fucked all over again, and did I mention being completely fucked over during the unfolding of the aforementioned, each and every time ?
   
At one point, all in the said order.

Other times, in no particular order. It’s life. It happens. And that’s the way things unfold.   
   
I’ve no control over another, or their decisions, and behaviours.    
   
But, I will always honor those worthy of such appreciation for the diversity of their entire being, in totality, as I respect people for who they are, as opposed to the confines of my own limited experience(s) in life that restrict me from understanding them, in their own totalities.  
   
I recall carrying an element of guilt for a number of years for developing a complex about people, and the behaviours they allow themselves to display, some things to me are acceptable, whilst other things are clearly outlined as unacceptable.    
   
But still, I don’t openly cast judgement upon another for the sake of proving something to myself.  
   
I don’t seek to change others, and will never execute such a motion as I don’t believe in such.    
   
I don’t prescribe to such nonsense, and I certainly won’t capitalise upon the sensitivities of others for the sake of making myself feel worthy.    
   
My mind is extremely fertile, and the vessels utilised for my growth, are also exposed to their own inner growth through various disclosures.  
   
I don’t possess any expectations.    
   
And, I don’t form the basis of opinions based upon their contributions to my well-being within my life.    
   
If anything, I appreciate another’s presence, and will always be gracious for the exchange by showing my appreciation.  
   
There’s no validity in harnessing another’s energy by forcing things that do not naturally develop, especially, if the inclination to do so isn’t aligned with the proper intent.    
   
People are constantly emerging, and those that remain stagnate in their lives are set within their own misery & nature, and that is not a matter for my consideration where insecurities are clearly forthcoming and evident where certain behaviours are identified.  
   
I’ve been there, many go there, and remain, or extend themselves via inner growth. Personally, I don’t prescribe to such as I don’t wish to live my life in misery, or regret, seeking comfort in the illusions to buffer the reality I’ve crafted for myself.    
   
I’ve moved on from that realm in my life.

I’m somewhat content, considering the scars I’ve acquired within my life journey thus far in life.

But, I still have much more to embrace within life.  
   
These days, I don’t care to accept the opinion of others, and will staunchly reject those who form their baseless opinions on snippets of whatever intelligence they’ve obtained to form the basis of their own uninformed opinion. Some just don't get it, and sadly, will never settle contently within their own maturity.  
   
Let it be known. I don’t seek anyone’s approval. I don’t need validation.    
   
I don't need to be sheltered from those who seek to expose their insecurities as they're unhappy with the way their lives might have unfolded. I know myself intimately, from the inside outwardly. And I accept myself, wholeheartedly.    
   
I don’t hide behind certain premises, and taint myself as being holier than thou to insulate my inner self, or exposure to growth within life.  
   
I will always maintain that at some point, I chose each and every situation that unfolded on the physical plane, and also on a higher plan, to enable the execution of the necessary spiritual unfolding.    
   
That is my rite, or right, whichever way you want to absorb this content.   
   
I take ownership over my life choices, and there’s no guilt associated with my past choices, they are, what they are.    
   
I don’t live my life making observations through that particular scope. Therefore, I can't quiet fathom those in glass houses, that seek to throw stones.  
   
My emotions are fluid.    
   
And the underlying current from that perspective can be a powerful ally for me in my life, or it can escalate towards being the root cause for being thrusted into the land of uncertainty.    
   
As I’ve matured, I’ve become aware of my triggers, and the resilience that emerges from each experience strengthens me on various levels, with age and maturity, comes a certain level of autonomy, to exercise my right to accepting or rejecting the opinions of others.   
   
Lately, that seems to be the flow forthcoming.  
   
Initially, it throws me off my axis when others cast judgement, just because I choose to live my life, through acknowledging that it’s an experiential journey, by embracing my entire being in duality, and allowing the appropriate channel for growth to unfold.    
   
I don't pretend to be something that I am not.   
   
If there was one thing that needed to be conveyed, it’s that I don’t care about the perception of another’s opinion.

It’s not my perception therefore I don’t care as opinions are like arseholes, everyone is in possession of one. Therefore, there’s no need to behave inappropriately.

That behaviour says much about those that conduct themselves as such in the unfolding of cloak and dagger tactics.  
   
Personally, that isn’t my mode of operation, especially where relations with people are concerned as I realise that no one can execute the cessation of ones emotions, they either flow naturally, or they don’t. There isn’t any foundation for the pretentious, jealous, and self-absorbed to stand upon in my life.  
   
People are either living, or dead from the inside out.

Hatred is a clear depiction of one who’s stuck experiencing their own inner death, and accepting that as a constant state of being, as opposed to changing the very circumstance that brought them to such a place within.

We all go there, at some stage however the key is in knowing when to initiate the proper strategies to enable change and growth to unfold.  
   
We empower others with information, to assist them in their growth and understanding of others, as opposed to the formation of immature responses, which highlight the lack of understanding from those on the receiving end that feel it’s their duty to force their opinions upon another.  
   
Things unfold like an avalanche, until they crash over me, and I’m spun into the realms of introspect, that’s the gravity of my nature at times. I’m focussed, yet can be perceived as scattered.

However, I don’t possess the need to emulate others, as I’m content with the reconciliation process that’s been undertaken to reach my own self-acceptance.  
   
I don't understand why people aren't capable of speaking their inner truth(s), as opposed to saying one thing, and then, doing another.

Friendship is a two-way exchange based upon trust and vaarying commonalities that merge and bring people together.

There is no substance to friendships when the lens of judgement is constantly applied to form the basis of a defensive attack upon another’s psyche.  
   
Tis hard to trust one when their words fail to collaborate with their actions, once friends, now enemies. It's all rather childish.

However, I understand that not everyone is capable of baring themselves wholly by making explicit admissions to themselves, let alone another person. When I wake in the morning, I wake with a clear conscience.  
   
It’s true, people are like onions.

As individuals, we consist of many layers, in essence, we’re all very complex beings when we take into consideration the totality of another, and the life experiences that have made us into the individual we are.

I love hard but I hurt tenfold, significantly so.

And when the combination of polarities rub me the wrong way, I warm to consistancy, and absolute trust.

If I'm not enveloped in absolute trust, my vessel isn't moored. Seemingly, as it should be to enable the functionality of exchange.  
   
I’m extremely fragile. And, my inner layers are constantly unfolding, on the premise of following my own inner truth, which is obviously, very unique to me, and my individual experiences within own life. 

Whilst we possess similarities, no one person is the same as another. But. I will never punish another for their differences, and the diversity that exists within their individual make up; emotionally, psychologically or otherwise.  
   
There might be traces of elements, and similarities we identify with, but we’re all unique. And that uniqueness we each possess should be celebrated, and somewhat embraced. As opposed to being rejected & placed under microscopic analysis to convey negativity. Life is challenging enough, without having salt thrown upon gaping wounds, unseen.  
   
I will never fathom those that feel the need to assert their perceived authority over another. No one knows me, better than I know myself. And no one could possibly have emerged in the ways I’ve emerged in my life.

I’m not bitter and twisted, like those who feel the need to try and reinforce their authority, when their inner fragility is touched or somewhat challenged.  

Oh. Yes, I’m the worlds greatest fuckhead ! Meh.
   
I don’t need to be surrounded with people who aren’t open minded and accepting of the diversity we each possess. I don’t care for surface level appearances, as ones true state of being, and character cannot be fully grasped as such.

We all bleed the same, regardless of color or creed. I accept people for who they are, as I’ve been exposed to other humans via a worldlier spectrum, which enabled me to reach that realm of acceptance where diversity is thrown into the melting pot, especially where societal demographics emerge for individual analysis.  
   
I don’t care that I’m a shade darker in skin tone.

I embrace my cultural linkages & exotic roots as those portions also form the basis of who I am. I’m at peace with my inner self because I accept myself, and other people for what and who they are, below the surface.

Evidently, many so called educated people are challenged by such a task personally & professionally on a daily basis, it's evident by the behaviors identified.  
   
Which leads me to the conclusion that sometimes, I analyse things from a more abstract perspective, as opposed to applying a more practical approach within my life. I do this with my relationships also, it's an in-built mechanism, but it can also be a cause for another experiencing their own inner pain, this is always acknowledged and taken into consideration from my perspective.   
   
I'm not always fully cognisant with the way another thinks or feels. And, my perception can become somewhat screwy, it happens. But, I’m not the kind of girl that possesses a forked tongue, for the sole purpose of disputing another’s opinions, or the modus operandi applied within another’s life.  
   
I embrace individualism.

I worship the differences of others, and the diversity that exists within humanity, as it's accessed as a learning tool, via observation for my own self-awareness, growth and ongoing analysis.

You are not me, and I am not you.

But whether some realise this or not, we are all one of the same kind. You are no better than me, and I am no better than you.   
   
However, some are yet to reach that realisation within their lives.

I exercise my freedoms, yet I become bound by the faceless, who seek to destroy the inner faculties of another. I’ve been defeated many times in life, but I’ve always risen above and beyond, and that will never cease to change.

It's how I'm constructed below the surface as I don't enter into debates over things that are neither here nor there.  
   
Sometimes, I often wondered whether I was in possession of a chameleon heart, as each partner that has entered my life were varying in their nature.

And their expectations often left me crafted and defined from their perspective.  
   
But, after some careful consideration, I also came to the conclusion that I don't possess a chameleon heart, it's a flexible muscle after all, and therefore mine was exercising its flexibility.

I have no shame in making admissions pertaining to my inner truths.

Because, I don't hide from my shadow.  
   
I’m not a saint, and nor do I confess to be sinner. I’m just another human being that acknowledges and accepts the complexity of my being, holistically; emotionally, psychologically spiritually, sexually and physically.

In totality, those elements vary, some have fully emerged, and other elements are still emerging through experiences, and channels of growth.  
   
I connect with both the light and dark that resides within my being.

It’s not a question of holiness, and evil. I’m not adorned with such a veil as I realise I couldn’t comply with such restrictions and sanctions against my being.  
   
However, I respect those that adhere to such pillars of foundation in their lives because I don't apply the scope of judgment upon another if they don't adhere to my state of being in life.   
   
It’s the essence of knowing that without me embracing the dark portions that exist within, my inner light simply cannot grasp the necessary air to ignite my inner flame. Having ones inner flame snuffed out is equivalent to living a substandard life.   
   
Love. Embrace. And, accept others for who they are in the depths of their own totality.

The world just might be a better place if we all stood upon such foundations of understanding when interacting with others as opposed to forcing opinions onto others and casting judgement.

Today, there was fire in my belly !