Another one bites the dust...

 
It took me a while to understand what you were doing to me, and it wasn't until just recently that I understood the absence of ones touch, and how much I craved everything you couldn't bring yourself to be, for me.
 
Presence, has very little weight without the other senses being tapped, simultaneously.  
 
It made me wonder why I channeled my never ending hope, respect and trust into you ?
 
As if you were the only decent man on the planet that blinded me from seeing the goodness within the depths of any other.  
 
Love, means nothing without those core elements underpinning the bond. Evidently, I’m just an insecure “fuckhead” that grates upon his nerves.
 
It’s funny how people slowly emerge, and show their true colours when they’re frustrated.  
 
All people want & need is love, not the superficial kind but the kind that has depth.
 
To feel the surge of ones desire until my whole being tingles is what you chose to turn away from, and the way he looks at me tells me more than words written on a page.
 
His thoughts are never strategically placed as they tumble from his mind all over me. Yours, were made to seduce my mind & heart, until you peeled the layers off of me.
 
I never quite knew what to do with you but the way he looks at me, pierces my soul. You, in the other hand look at me with some kind of disdain as if I’m not worthy of your affections.
 
I have to look away because each time he searches for himself in the depths of me, I'm just not there.  
 
I'm somewhere else, dancing with you. 
 
Somewhere, I'm unable to utter a word about because you're in my dreams, and no matter how many times I hope and pray that one day it'll be you I wake up next to, it never is.  
 
Its always him, searching my eyes to capture a glimmer of his own reflection, and all he finds are vacant spaces that need filling as he thinks of the women that fucked him over at some stage in his life.
 
But.

There you are... perched upon my psyche, whilst holding my heart to ransom once again, while I try to navigate the shipwreck that’s unfolding between him & I.
 
Nothing good, ever comes from lies.  
 
And, he lies his arse off until he digs himself a trench that he cannot possibly emerge from as we go to war with one another.  
 
In actuality, he’s already lost the war as I already walked away, the moment he was unearthed as a liar.
 
I can’t possible lay with a man I do not trust, or respect, for that matter.  
 
Civility, is all I have left to give, and even that will be depleted as we sever the ties that bind.
 
https://youtu.be/WfzRlcnq_c0