The Wise Sayings of David Macleod

Better to be safe than sorry and pregnant

Strike while the your matches are dry

It's always darkest before you put the light on
.
Never underestimate the power of vibrators

You can lead a horse to water but you can't get him to buy you a drink

Don't bite the hand that wipes the ass

No news is good or true (Apart from FOX)

A miss is as good as a Mister

You can't teach an old dog new testament bible stories

If you lie down with dogs, you'll stink in the morning.

Love all, trust strangers and strange people.

The pen is mightier than all the pigs.

An idle mind is the best way to relax.

Where there's smoke there's weed

Happy the bride who marries a millionaire on his deathbed

A penny saved is a penny less for beer

Two's company, three's a 70’s porn movie

Don't put off till tomorrow what you can sweep under the carpet today.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and the world laughs even harder

There are none so blind as those who you've poked in the eyes

Children should be seen and not herded with an electric cattle prod

If at first you don't succeed squeeze the zit until it bleeds

You get out of something only what you steal when no one is looking

When the blind leadeth the blind stick your foot out

Better late than a zombie

Better Red than black with gangrene

Many a good tune played on a skinny old mans ribs

Too many cooks spoil TV programming

A rolling stone gathers, blonde wives

Let sleeping dogs get attacked by the cat

The devil makes work for idle willies