I Can't Survive 55

Going down hill with a pair of burned out breaks      
Another flat tire won't help my confidence inflate      
After all this time I guess I'm lucky I'm alive      
But after last years disaster, How can I survive fifty-five?      
     
Midnight confessions can't absolve me of my sins      
My voodoo doll's impaled by fifty-five rusty pins      
Nearly out of gas coasting downhill way too fast      
With a sharp corner at the bottom this ride ain't gonna last      
     
If only I could jump off into a pile of fresh mowed grass      
Looks like I'm about to break my freekin' @$$      
Right about now I wish I had a piece of carot cake      
But instead they'll be serving pieces at my festive wake      
     
Fifty-five slices without a single gram of sugar cane      
All because my flabby @$$ couldn't remain in the right lane      
If I can't get up out of this moldy wooden coffin they will bury me alive      
But I knew when I woke this morning I'd never survive past fifty-five      
     
Now all my bones are creeking along with the lid on my sarcophagus      
I can hear them digging deeper the hole I dug I thought was bottomless      
This will be my last sunset if I don't get some help from Barnabus      
But when a breeze blew out the candles it was all so ominous      
     
They tell me old Aries never die, we just go straight to Hell..!      
I knew the first time I cursed God that I had already fell      
I still had hope that the life of Job would offer me forgiveness      
But I've been forced to face, carrot cake without sugar is filled with bitterness      
     
And when the darkness came I was swimming blindly in a back stroke      
That's when the the doctors told me pretty much everything was broke      
Now my ego is deflated because I can no longer shift the stick in drive      
Oh lawdy-momma how'd I ever get so old? I CAN'T SURVIVE FIFTY-FIVE!!!