The Duality of Self

Struggling to think or write.
Ballistic in mind, thinking I'm never right.
Distracted by the pain I've pushed down. Never understanding why I've worn emotions like a frown.

Thinking you treat us. .oh so nice.
I'm distracted by the stars in the night.
Do you really see and feel as I do?
Feeling the ravines of spirit. Feel them true.

I've been better than this for so many years
But still I endure so many tears
The lives we lead should be distant at best.
The crutch on my heart is the worst kind of hex.

Put me up. Give it away.
No lie my friend. I've seen better days.
They yell and scream because it's okay.
And they'll blow my brains out if they don't get their way.

I love you and I want what's best.
But don't challenge us with the rest.
Life could have that greater quality
But I struggle with a strange duality.

MAKE THEM STOP! They tweak my logic.
Always short for some reason. Never apologetic.
I can't explain why I'm like this to you.
You would be strange if people were always yelling at you.