RED

Absolutely amazing my dear crim
Great work


Love Autumn xoxo

thank you beautiful Gypsy my heart is greatly warmed by your love..

love Brenda

My lovely Brenda, such a heartfelt piece.

Wishing you peace and tranquility for all the days ahead.

Teri

thank you beautiful Teri you giving presence always lends me peace..

love Brenda

This is such a wonderful piece Crim!!

thank you beautiful Eswaller
for such a lovely comment :)

love Crim

i very much enjoy the 1st and 3rd lines  
 
"decorate my pain in graffiti " - i want to go back to art class so bad now and color with pastels  
"as I hula hoop Saturn" - that's just good imagery right there.  
 
"while I cried red  
passion's flag waved"- this makes me think of the Scottish wars of independence ,AND WILLIAM WALLACE and ANDREW DE MORAY. the battle Stirling bridge.so fucked up,tragic,and triumphant. good heart wrenching stuff.  
 
"my tears rain down upon the evergreen "- delicious. i could drink coffee under this line for a few hours.  
 
"my path is marked in astrology    
kaleidoscope eyes see through to the real me" - i don't think the stars will ever get old as much as all of us poets talk about them.they're so versatile and complex.i still want them to build/invent a world engine so they can raise the core temperature of uninhabitable planets making them habitable.  
 
i'm going to go buy a kaleidoscope on Ebay now.  
 
"sane"-are any of us really sane? cypress hill let us know it's ok to be "insane in the membrane".  
 
definition -" in a state of mind that prevents normal perception, behavior, or social interaction; seriously mentally ill."- this sounds like most of the poets and artists i know of lol.  
 
everyday is a struggle,strife.inside us we hold all of the books,the verse,and ideas that have floated our way down the never ending drain;but what to do with all of this thought. feeding the vicious monsters inside us,this insatiable hunger that can never be filled.we shall all take and take and take until there is nothing left to give.as the trees taught us, giving us the apples, the wood,then finally a stump to sit on when we are tired of pillaging her.  
 
we are all pilgrims on a burning ship in the middle of the ocean, tossing friends and family members to stay afloat just a little bit longer.  
 
i don't know, this poem takes me feeling in several directions . i want to paint,then punch a hole through the canvas,then maybe tape it back back together lol.  
 
i think i need to go sit on the beach for a few days and get my "glass half full" feelings back.  
 
i just finished reading Fahrenheit 451 and i'm in a burning everything mood with an undertone of,save the script for future generations lol.  
 
people stop by with either friendship or fire.  
 
the most dangerous game is life, Richard Connell and "the Hounds of Zaroff" taught me that when i was in middle school, i was to naive to realize it back then.  
 
sorry it's been a minute since i've stopped by to read, it's been a trying 2 weeks.  
 
well penned write and very thought provoking poem Crimsin.

dearest Samael I get so stoked hearing
what my words conjure in your mind
you invigorate me and give me so much joy
you are a master poet and I am always so honored
each time you gift me this way..

and it is a true treasure you gift of your soul
my apologies for not replying sooner I've been struggling as well it's my hopes your own personal turmoil has passed..

love you friend
& admire you greatly..

love Brenda

Amazing write Crim...... LOVE LOVE LOVE this

XOXO
FIRE

thank you beautiful Fire so jazzed to see you :)
we've been around these halls for sometime now..

love Brenda

this is so lovely Bren, as you know i know the feeling of being stranded.



love you babygirl

thank you my deep beauty Splits..

I have so much love for you
though we are just waiting I believe
for another door to be opened..

thank you for feeling me beautiful one..

love Brenda

Your love written ...

I love the ending! And the colorful language...

Wondrous!

H

thank you beautiful Hanuel for the love on this write..

love Brenda

love love love this Brenda  
i'm outta room on my RL..  
but soon as the 'food stamps' come  
i'm devouring this..  
 
"decorate my pain in graffiti  
my abstract guilt in day-glo neon    
as I hula hoop Saturn "  
 
phuuuuuck!!!  
  

thank you dearest Naajir for the love
and deep appreciation for this write
I love when you smile on my pages :)

love Brenda

aw dearest Naajir thank you for making room for this one you mean a lot to me Soul Soldier..

love Brenda

told you i was comin back for this vibe!!
you're very welcome hun

love these lines:

'decorate my pain in graffiti'

and

'the day bled green'

and

'while I cried red'

very nice!

on these two lines...not sure if this would cramp your style...but i felt a beat would add clarity and drama for whatever it is worth:

'your voice silent deadly it comes' ----> your voice, silent, deadly it comes [or: your voice, silent and deadly it comes]
'then loudly when I refuse to refrain' ----> then, loudly, when i refuse to refrain

im not big on punctuation either hehe...but sometimes i add it for rhythm.

again, nice job!

thank you dearest Poetrician

for the love and honest critique on this write
I will for future references remember some punctuation is need for it to read write..

I would correct now but I hate a double stamp lol :)

love Brenda

Brenda.. i just learn so much from you ink.. family means everything.. love you, my sister..





Dave

Dave my brother i'm so grateful you get me no matter what even when I don't..

I love...

Brenda

Four'n'a'half stars )outta five(

thank you dearest Daniel i'm deeply honored..

love Brenda

I absolutely love this piece, perfect word choice & placement creating amazing imagery. Excellent work Crimson. Much Respect,
Shadow

thank you dearest Shadow your beautiful comments are deeply appreciated..

love Crim

A beautiful wordplay of colors painting your intimate expressions.
Clever is thy tongue, my Crimson friend!
Sandman

aw dearest Sandman so happy to see you here :)

love Brenda

Red, as defined has never been more in depth in its meaning than in your ink Crim...then again, based on the fact your pen name is Red, who better to define it!? Amazingly expressed darkness, with heart...

thank you my dear friend Poe for the love on this darker write..

love Crim

"Visionary with a powerful right (writing) hand".  That's how I would describe your work Lady Crim.  I love this in it's entirety, and that last line's a knockout!

thank you my dearest Sir Crow for showing love on this write and all of my poems you gift me smiles with your presence..

love Crim

Your opening stanza speaks to me in gorgeous metaphor of the artist's catharsis, the process by which we make pain into beauty, which is alchemy. I often will not write unless I'm bleeding on the page.  

Your usage of green and red are powerfully elemental. Great visualization in the minds eye.  

You speak of the scream in the police sirens. It reminds me of similar experience I've had with projection of what I am going through into my environment. Been going through a lot of that lately with a still raw heartbreak.  

Tears on the evergreen you planted strikes me further. That is a wonderful and succinct way to, it seems to me, describe the seed, rooting and flowering of love someone plants in your heart. Now they have departed, it is watered by your tears. That makes me ache as I resonate, but it is good to recognize our feelings rather then avoid them.

Astrology, kaleidoscopic eyes, quicksand, another powerful stanza. Fated path, deeply penetrating recognition and understanding, now left in this sinking place of abandonment.  

I enjoy the close, anchoring in those you love and who love you.  

It's a truly beautifully elucidated and vulnerable write. I cannot know your intention but I hope my impressions were of some interest. Thank you for sharing with us.  

Daniel

dearest Daniel your critique is deeply treasured you gave me a beautiful gift by doing so you have opened my mind to the deeper aspects and meaning behind my application is word and metaphor usage I often believe I am a mere channel of what I write.. so I don't always grasp the message that is laced within.. you have gifted me the hidden meaning of this write.. I am absolutely in awe of what you see and understand..

thank you.. thank you ..

love Brenda

I often feel the same, that my writes come through me from elsewhere. Often I find the meaning only in fruition as memories align and condense.

I'm glad to have been of service to a talented poet. :)

thank you dearest Daniel you came through with the keys to those memories today and brought with you some peace..

you're deeply appreciated..

love Brenda

"running from the sun as fast I can
 
the day bled green
the color of jealousy and war
while I cried red
passion's flag waved
anger's thoughts known"

You've packed so much emotion into one little stanza here that it literally steals the breath, beautiful Dark Angel. Like flames burning across a prairie, you can feel the building of powerful emotion in this piece. And the dash to escape the burn of the sun. Intense. You've written a powerful piece here, beautiful. I love you

...ever your Willow

thank you my beautiful Willow
for seeing my intent with this write
you are a true seer..

I love you..

love Brenda

A special poem becomes a work of urban art - love this so much :-))))))

Huge Big Hugs  :-)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))