The Hows and the Why

This is how you sweep a corner
This is how you dust a ceiling fan
This is why you should clean your room
This is why cleanliness is next to Godliness
 
And this is how you tie your shoes
This is how a tie makes your outfit formal  
This is why family is the tie that binds
This is why blood is thicker than water
 
This is how you determine the rise and the run
This is how you get the square root
This is why math is important
This is why you’ll never use algebra again
 
And this is how you make a spreadsheet
This is how to repair a dead computer
This is why you should never trust technology
This is why you’ve been hacked
 
This is how you fillet a fish
This is how you cook a 20lb. turkey
This is why man does not live by bread alone
This is why you need to start a diet  
 
This how to secretly record conversations
This is how to sue your employer
This is why you shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds you
This is why you never look a gift horse in the mouth
 
And this is how you kiss a girl
This is how you properly propose
This is why you should never get married
And this is why your mother warned you