too much thunder

I hate this strange trap
I hate this darkness
I hate this loneliness
iIhate this illness
I hate this trauma

I don't want t negatihese clouds
I don't want this bubble
I don't want this fire
I don't want this feeling

I feel ever ever so lost
I feel ever ever so small
I feel that i do not belong
I feel so abnormal it is wrong

The tears are going to come
The pain is lingering on
Another day and its all the same
It isn't my fault i'm not to blame

I am disappearing like a rain drop
I am disappearing this is so unreal
i am sad and i wish this would stop
i am confused why is this so cruel

Sunshine isn't lighting up my morning
Sunshine isn't flooding my being
Sunshine is hiding and i am sitting here crying
Sunshine is distancing itself and isnt moving

Thunder rolls on and keeps making me feel bad
Thunder beats and it makes me fearful and sad
Thunder is unwelcome and always makes me mad
Thunder pushed me into corners that never made me glad